Any Day Darling: A Feysand Story

Part 18: Preparations

AN: So sorry about the weird format from when these parts were first published! I published them on my laptop and it messed up the spacing. Much love

"What?" I said, my eyes widening.

"He killed them"

"But, But I thought they came with-" I said, my voice breaking

"Some of his guards got to them before they could be winnowed out." He muttered, "Got some of their family too, little siblings."

A helpless noise came from the back of my thought. Rhys caught me as my knees buckled.

It was all my fault. If I hadn't asked them for help, oh mother, what have I done

Nothing. You didn't do that darling

Rhys...I...If I...I hadn't, We were on the floor. Thankfully we were in private chambers, otherwise, the refugees could have seen me, sobbing, Rhys crying too.

How? I asked, How did he do it.

Feyre I-

HOW! I practically screamed through the bond.

He, Rhys couldn't even say it in our minds, He cut...He cut their wings and...and hung them in the square. Darkness erupted out of me, filling the hall. I didn't know if it was from my anger or regret, but it was heavy. I could barely feel Rhys' arms around me, couldn't hear what he was saying, just the ringing in my ears. A child. They were a child. And they looked up to me, trusted me. I killed them.

"Feyre!" Rhys said, shaking my shoulders. I came to my senses and the darkens backed away.  I had knocked a painting clear off the wall and all the rugs had been shoved back to the wall where the back window was completely shattered.

"I'm sorry." I muttered into him, "I'm so sorry." We sat there for a minute as he guided my breaths and I tried not to hurl my breakfast all over the floor. Eventually, I looked up at him. He looked saddened by the news, but what was worse, was the overwhelming worry in his eyes.

"Rhys, I'm sorry, I overreacted." Before I could finish my sentence he kissed me, making the world seem better for a moment.

"You have nothing to apologize for."

I almost chucked as I said, "I blew out the fucking window."

"And I almost pummeled Az when he told me. Are you okay?"

I didn't respond, because I couldn't say yes in good conscience. "If I hadn't asked for their help, If I had just done it myself...I might as well have-"

"Feyre, stop." He said, cupping my cheek, "You are not responsible for that fuckers actions."

"But-"

"You had no part in their murder Feyre, please." His eyes looked broken, the way they used to look when he awoke from those horrid nightmares.

"There's more isn't there?"  I asked. He nodded.

"Are you okay to hear it?" I nodded.

"He's been burning the houses of Fae who have left. As far as I know, no one has been hurt but-" I was shaking. None of this would have happened if we had just left it alone. If he had chosen me, he couldn't have taken me, we would have stopped him. Better yet if we hadn't gone...How did I ever love him? What would have become of me if I had stayed with him, or if Lucian had taken me in the woods, or if I hadn't gotten away or-

"What happens now?" I asked Rhys, taking a sharp breath. "What do we do?"

"Thesan has called a meeting in the Dawn Court, seeing as he has been the most impartial about Tamlin in the past. We are to report immediately, well, at least I am. He said, considering everything, he understands if you didn't feel safe enough to go. Tamlin isn't invited but that's never stopped him before so-"

"I'm going with you," I said sitting up. "I won't let him scare me away from doing my duties or from my people. I'm going with you to fix this."

"Okay."

"You don't want me to do you?"

"Feyre, darling." He said pulling me close. There are about 500 different things that scare me about everything that's happened, and more adding on to the fact that you are with child, but never- never, will I hide you away.

I know my love. I kissed him deeply, in the middle of the trashed hallway. I needed to ask Madja about how the pregnancy would affect my hormones because I seemed to be at extremes.

"I imagine our appointment is canceled?"

"Yes, but I have asked Madja to come with us, in case that something happens, and because neither of us knows anything about pregnancy and we need to learn at some point."

"Does Thesan know? Will it look weird if we bring her?"

"He didn't say anything in his letter, but, seeing as Helion could tell when we were in the Spring court, he probably does."

"Do you think someone told Tamlin?" I whispered. "Would he-"

"He would be dead if he tried." I looked up at him. His eyes widened as he realized what he said. He opened his mouth to apologize but I beat him to it.

"Not if I didn't get to him first." Rhys knew he couldn't scare me, not even when he has to tap into his power, but he still needs reminders from time to time.

Rhys helped me up and wrapped an arm around my waist as we walked towards our room to make preparations.

"Who else is coming?" I asked.

"Az and the shadows, and Mor. Even though Amren has the scare factor we may need, I figure she would be better posted protecting the city, and Mor would be more of a comfort to you."
"Mmh sometimes I wish you weren't right. What about the city?" 

"Cass is collecting troops from Devlon now to patrol the city, Almost the whole guard is on standby, and I even put your sister on border patrol."

"I pity the poor sap who tries to get past her." We had reached our door. I paused for a moment before turning the handle. I wish I didn't have to bring this whole mess into our room. I was such a holy space and didn't deserve to be burdened with Tamlin's bullshit. Or my own.

"Well- I guess we should get packing then," I said turning the handle, and walking in.