"So uh, hi I guess?"
Ryan was on his first blind date that his friend had set up. He really didn't want to be in this McDonald's- but he didn't want to hurt Brendon's feelings. But when the man with the pink mohawk sat down in front of him, he regretted everything instantly.
"Hi, I'm Jimmy. James. Jimmy Jam January Just Dance Euringer. Urine."
Jimmy-James-Jimmy-Jam-January-Just-Dance-Euringer-Urine was looking at Ryan intently, awaiting his response.
"I'm Ryan. Nice to meet you."
He forced on a smile, a bit creeped out by this guy. He was also considering committing mass murder on Brendon for setting this shitty date up, but that was for another time.
"Do you like my jimmy jam jams? I picked them out at walmart all by myself!" Jimmy (?) suddenly said proudly, standing up on the table and, much to Ryan's disgust, giving him a face full of crotch.
"Uh, yeah, they look great."
Jimmy's smile widened. Ryan's eyes widened, but not out of happiness. It was out of fear, as Jimmy had just walked up to the McDonald's manager.
"James, don't-"
"Can I get some fagaroni and cheese!?" Jimmy yelled at the poor lady. She instantly began sweating, taken aback by this man's energy.
"Sir, this is a McDonalds-"
"I don't care. Make it snappy."
Jimmy walked away and out of the door. He proceeded to climb up on the roof and pull out a Bluetooth speaker.
Ryan didn't want to see any more of this.
He walked out to his car and got inside, beginning to hear a song he didn't recognize.
"I WANNA MAKE SOME BABIES I WANNA GET IT ON I WANNA MAKE YA HORNY BUT I CAN'T GET IT ON I WANNA MAKE SOME MONEY BUT I DON'T WANT NO JOB I WANNA MAKE YA HORNY BUT I CAN'T GET IT UP-"
Jimmy was singing into a Barbie karaoke machine. Ryan sped away in his 1322 convertible that he somehow got even though cars weren't even invented until the 1800's (???????).
As he drove off, he called Brendon.
"Brendon, I'm never talking to you again."
And that is the true story of why George Ryan Ross (the third) left Panic! At The Disco.
hopefully this was funny. i was actually there at the mcdonald's when this happened so i can confirm this is 100% why Ryan left panic!.
YOU ARE READING
crack one shots
Fanficall your favorite band members take some meth and get together. enjoy. - january 2020-
