BLACK | jung jaehyun [on hold]

nine

"get out of the car, you look fine!"

jiyeon says as she tugs on my arm, eventually pulling me out.

i wasn't just embarrassed wearing something like this.

i never would have wore this and would have been beyond shy.

just somehow, jiyeon had gotten me to agree to a black crop top showcasing my tummy and black jeans.

the subtle smoky eyes makeup she had applied on me was a bit too much for what i would normally do and i was afraid the pink lip tint would stain my lips forever.

i didn't look like the normal me anymore but jiyeon said i could be like this for one night and have fun.

i wasn't so sure about the having fun part because i looked and was dressed as the girl version of jaehyun.

black everything.

regardless of how nervous i was to see taeyong again, i entered through the door behind jiyeon.

taeyong has been my friend since childhood and he's always been really wild, especially with girls.

and when i figured i liked him, he was messing with other girls and didn't take the hint of my feelings.

so i pushed them back and taeyong never knew how i felt.

admitting it now, it was harder back then because of how close we were to each other.

but i've always had a feeling taeyong knew.

• • •

jaehyun had planned to not drink beforehand but now that he was actually at the party, he couldn't help but pour himself a shot of vodka.

he really wanted to see you today but was afraid of what you saw last night at the riverside.

you've seen that side of him that no one's ever seen before.

who did he think he was, drinking and reminiscing about you when he could have been partying?

you have a boyfriend anyways.

jaehyun wanted to hear your voice again.

but he couldn't take the loud, obnoxious music.

jaehyun walked up the stairs of taeyong's house, sliding past random strangers and quite a few classmates.

taeyong was jaehyun's good friend but it was wild when it came to his parties.

the whole night, he hasn't seen his friend once and it didn't help that there were many people who showed up.

jaehyun pushed opened taeyong's bedroom door and entered, throwing himself on his friend's bed.

there were so many sleepovers and fun times they had in this room.

that was before she had left him behind.

"fuck, you shouldn't get emotional now."

jaehyun said to himself, slapping his cheek a few times.

"not yet at least."

• • •

i couldn't find jiyeon ten minutes after we had arrived.

she was a party animal, quite like taeyong and somehow had already mingled herself into the party.

but i didn't know these people around me.

i didn't know the guys who kept walking up to me and introducing themselves, slurring on their words.

i didn't anyone near me but jaemin in this moment.

suddenly, all the fear from the last party i had gone to here came back into memory.

at fifteen, i didn't know any better and let random older guys dance with me because of the fact that i didn't have the heart to say 'no'.

and so when they touched me in places no one would want to imagine, i panicked in a rush.

i wanted to go home and call jaemin, facetime him, hug him tight right now.

but he was probably still enjoying his time with his friends, i couldn't just bother him.

i found myself in taeyong's kitchen, sipping a drink jiyeon had handed me.

whatever was inside burned and cooled my throat in the most toxic way.

regardless, i drink from the cup and lean against the counter.

taeyong approaches me and greets me with a hug.

he grins widely and thanks me for coming.

he still looks the same with his intense, deep eyes and his soft, thin but plump lips.

in that moment there, i missed him and his scent.

"you look different from two years ago."

taeyong says, chuckling as he sips his drink.

"really? it's just the outfit and makeup."

i say back, a little louder so he can hear me over the music blaring.

"you look hot."

he bluntly points out and i'm not sure if my cheeks heat up from the alcohol or his words.

my eyes raise to look at his eyes.

they're soft but dark and sparkling.

it was as if he really enjoyed seeing me again after he left for college.

"what's in your drink?"

i ask, curious as the fizz in the light blue liquid keeps its presence and never fades.

"yeah, i just mixed a little something in to help me relax tonight. it's nothing special."

taeyong explains and i find myself wondering what exactly it could be.

it couldn't be drugs, i know taeyong doesn't like or do that stuff.

"you want some?"

his simple question had me hooked on whether it was wise to follow through or decline.

as much as my throat was already repulsing the liquid, i nod and watch as he pops a pill into my cup.

"is it strong? will i have an allergic reaction?"

i ask, growing concerned after it already vanishes into my drink, the fizz growing intensely.

"only if you're allergic to feeling good, baby."

taeyong slightly slurs, snickering before he walks out of the kitchen and i'm left dumbfounded at his words.