BLACK | jung jaehyun [on hold]

twenty eight

"i fucking want you, don't you understand?"

jaehyun growls out and i'm silent, baffled by all happening in this second.

"do you even know how difficult it is for me to lie to my heart that i don't want you?"

i couldn't say anything.

i didn't know what to say.

there was nothing i could say to ease the situation and stop the argument because i don't understand anything.

"y-you want me?"

was all i could muster out as he nears me, stepping forward as i back away.

"don't act like you didn't know."

he spits out and my back comes into contact with the wall as his hands reach out to it, making him lean over me.

"what do you mean i didn't know? of course i knew. i knew everything—"

"then what about your feelings?"

he asks darkly, his intense gaze burning over me.

the heat in the atmosphere has risen and so has the temperature in my cheeks.

i could feel his body heat radiate off him and i'm blushing like a maniac.

"w-what feelings? i don't have feelings. it's not like i have feelings."

i ask, deeply tranced by his dark stare.

i couldn't take my eyes off him.

jaehyun licks his lips and the corner of his lips lift into a smirk.

"you know, i've thought about when i'll have you like this under me, stuttering and not knowing how to react to me."

jaehyun whispers this time and my knees go a little numb when i process his words.

"what do you mean?"

i ask, unaware of his lips dragging against my ear.

in reaction, i close my eyes.

"why won't you run your mouth now?"

he asks, pressing small kisses down my jaw.

i couldn't hold the ability of saying anything else because of his lips against my burning skin.

then jaehyun pulls away, a sinister chuckle leaving his throat as i breathe against the wall.

"let's get out of here."

he says and i'm upset for letting him have his fun.

what the fuck just happened?

i question everything from the moment he bumped into me.

but i follow him anyways.

• • •

we're on the road soon enough and he's grinning ear to ear when i turn up the radio.

i haven't given jaemin a thought since i broke it off with him.

to save me the sorrow, i didn't want to think back to it and let my emotions get the best of me.

so i laid back against the passenger seat of jaehyun's car and hum along to the radio.

jaehyun laughs, glancing at me every so often to make sure i'm enjoying myself.

"if you roll down the window any more, you'll fly out."

he chortles and i playfully smack him on the arm.

"no, because you wouldn't let me go."

i joke, looking back at his reaction.

instead he just scoffs and grips the steering wheel in defeat.

he knew i was right.

then he's pulling up to the riverside from that one night.

"here again?"

i ask.

"you don't like it?"

he pulls the keys out and stops to look at me.

"i do but why are we here right now?"

i question why he had brought me here again, especially in a time like this and he doesn't seem to say anything regarding that.

we get out of the car and my gaze is set on the city across the river.

even in the open and clear sky, it is beautiful.

"i wanted to do something."

jaehyun says subtly and i turn to him.

his eyes are soft and they shine from the sunlight.

his presence around me is comforting and i could feel myself getting used to being around him again.

in this moment, i feel warm and safe with his familiarity.

"what is it?"

i ask and he closes the space between us, raising a hand to cup my jaw.

my arms lift in response, ready for the next thing.

i know what's going to happen next.

i know how it's going to make me feel.

i know the cold heart inside his chest is thumping without a chance of stopping.

"search your feelings, please."

he begs in almost a whisper as he leans forward.

his lips meet mine gently before i find myself kissing him in anticipation.

i could feel him grin against my lips.

my fingers pull at his black hoodie, hinting him that i wanted more.

the grip told him i needed more.

it let him know i craved more than what he had to give.

if i had still been with jaemin, the guilt would have eaten me up.

with no strings tying me to him, i was free to do whatever i wanted despite what i knew in my heart.

i still loved jaemin,

but i wanted jaehyun right now.