BLACK | jung jaehyun [on hold]

thirty

somehow i ended up at jaehyun's house after the kiss by the riverside.

things just happened like that.

i agreed to all that he said and did without stopping him.

i didn't want to stop him.

jaehyun laid on his bed, fingers brushing against my thighs as i straddled his waist.

we didn't move or anything.

we just wanted to feel each other's presence in the same room full of tensions we dared not to speak about.

"hey, y/n.."

jaehyun murmurs and i'm quick to hum in response.

"do you still have my black jacket?"

"yeah, why?"

i answer, shifting my eyes to him.

he wears an expression of annoyance.

"why haven't you given it back? you stole it from me."

he complains, his whines apparent to my ears.

i roll my eyes.

"you told me to keep it. you were the one urging me to take it and even put it around me."

i defend, lifting my body off of him and adjusting myself.

"there you go ahead pointing out that i stole it.. i told you this was gonna happen."

i'm just about to move my legs off when he grips tight on my thighs, halting me from moving any further.

jaehyun's eyes are clenched shut and his head is thrown back in the hottest way.

"stop moving."

he orders, his fingers tight around my thighs as he lets a swear escape his lips.

"what? are you getting a cramp from my body?"

i ask, shifting more in order to get off him.

"stop fucking moving."

jaehyun whispers in a shout as his hands push my torso against his chest.

"jaehyun—"

the sudden actions causing a gasp to leave my lips as his grazes his teeth over my shoulder before biting down slightly.

"fuck."

jaehyun groans.

i try to keep myself quiet when he moves my hips against his but fail to do so when i let a moan escape.

i can feel him right under my core and the anticipation for the next thing is so surreal i don't know how to contain my thoughts.

"you like that?"

he asks seductively and i'm captivated by how soothing his voice sounds to my ears.

"jaehyun, what are you doing? jeno's home.."

i mumble through closed lids and he smirks, the butterflies in my stomach acting up again.

the thought of his brother walking in on us was so exciting, i could feel the heat rush through our bodies.

"i don't know what you keep doing to me.. i'm soft for your heart but i'm hard for your body."

he whispers against my ear, the vibrations in his voice teasing me with every word he says.

before i can even react to all of this, we hear the front door open.

jeno was home but he couldn't have heard us.

jaehyun stops his movements, still throbbing under me when he tries to restrain himself.

i lay against him silently, listening to every word being said out there in the living room.

there were two voices.

one was jeno's and one was jaemin's.

they were arguing almost.

i didn't expect anything like this to happen.

all i could do was lean into jaehyun as i listen to my ex boyfriend pull himself away from jeno in a manner that seemed like he didn't care at all.

"why are you so afraid of my love?"

jeno says from the living room.

the next thing we know, the front door is slammed and footsteps are heard in the halls before another door is slammed.

then we hear jeno crying, sobbing as if his heart had just been broken.

i feel as if i'm ready to burst because my eyes are wet and fluttery.

jaehyun glances at me, waiting for the situation to sink in.

he was waiting to see how i felt about everything.

but i don't say anything.

instead, i just clutch to him tighter and he holds me against him.

jaehyun pats my back and rubs my back to soothe my pounding heart.

it felt like i was using jaehyun.

it was like i was using him for my own happiness and my own efforts.

i was just using jaehyun because i couldn't bear the feeling of being alone again.

and strangely enough, he always lets me as if he understood the scratches my heart endured.

"do you still love him..?"

he whispers and i use all the courage i have in me to not break down right now.

i nod slowly and jaehyun rolls me over so i'm beside him.

his arms are still wrapped around me and i'm still clinging onto his body.

• • •

jaehyun didn't know what to do when he saw you holding back your tears.

it was obvious you didn't want to show how you felt when with jaehyun but he could tell.

he understood every inch of your living body when you held him tight.

he knew the emotions you kept buried behind when you were by his side.

jaehyun knew why you still loved jaemin.

but what he didn't understand was why you didn't let yourself fall for him, too.

it wasn't like you couldn't, right?

or are you afraid of his love, too?