Warning: the following edition of This Week in Review contains high amounts of sarcasm and humor. Only you are responsible for being butt-hurt. Enjoy at your own risk.
Sonic booms are coming to Titusville. NASA claims this is a routine exercise. We see through you, NASA. We see past your lies. There's no hiding the Martian technology located in your complex. Those sonic booms are not tests. You are using Martian technology as a means of turning the ground unstable, causing massive sinkholes all over town. We know your evil plan.
*cough* And now back to the news.
The Closing, responsible for the demise of Quam's, Aldi's, and other places, claimed Wendy's as its next victim. What will takes its place? A splash pad? Maybe a dollar store? Automotive parts store? Perhaps an amalgamation of all three? Help fight against The Closing.
The Homeless population has been growing to overwhelming proportions. When you leave your homes, be vigilant of them. They are on every street corner, in front of every store, and near you. They require money as sustenance. However, some are considered docile and friendly. They just want change. Don't unleash the underlying threat, give them some food as an alternative to money. Remember, they're just as scared of the hovering night lights as we are.
Summer is known for its sizzling film entertainment. Movies lately are grand spectacles of action scenes and explosion. While exhilarating, it is wise to contain such effects within the movie. Please, silence your cellphones while in the theater and don't make bomb threats. Be courteous to others.
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Titusville: This Week in Review (Vol. 1: Year 1)
HumorTitusville: This Week in Review started as nothing more than a sarcastic Facebook post about the on-goings and shenanigans of small town Titusville, Florida. The post became a hit among those who lived in Titusville and the surrounding area. The ser...
