Titusville: This Week in Review (Vol. 1: Year 1)

October 1, 2017 (Issue #13: Halloween 2017 Special, Part 2)

On a cool, windy night, a series of heavy knocks on the front door sent you into a state of panic. You readied yourself for defense as you opened the door to find...
A package. A plain, cardboard parcel lying on your doorstep.
Outside, nobody is around. The street is eerie and empty. As you walked down the street, baseball bat in hand, you noticed a single car blocking a portion of the road three houses down. Someone must have a visitor, you wondered. Perhaps it's the Smith's as the car sits in front of their house. You ponder the idea of looking into the car. Too questionable. If someone caught you, you would be the creep. Back into the house to examine the box. You placed it on the floor inside your house, in front of the door. The door was double locked for security and peace of mind.
To the box. No labels. No tape. Inside was a tube with a dial of letters along its length. It's looked familiar, like something from a Dan Brown movie. Also inside, a cellphone. The second you picked up the phone, a car outside passes your house. The lights created a glare. The phone rang. Your heart convulsed in a seizure, your body frozen in fear. After three rings, you answered it. An obscure voice spoke...

Find out next time on
TITUSVILLE: THIS WEEK IN REVIEW!

City council passed a law citing the ownership of chickens is now legal. The catch to this, however, is the requirement of a class. Many residents hope this will finally bring Chick Fil-A into town. Many residents are worried about the chickens form a club against humans. The number of egged houses has risen since the legalization of chickens. No word yet on the sentient chicken concern at this point.

Hurricane Irma came and went, but several residences within city limits have kept their windows boarded. When asked why, some expressed worry over drones and nosy neighbors. One resident said that Hurricane Season is not yet over, reminiscing the October arrival of Hurricane Matthew last year.

A Local Titusvillian posted video of extremely normal behavior earlier this week. A man riding his bicycle in the Hobby Lobby parking lot, circling her car and rambling about the Indian River. Much enlightening revelations surfaced, such as a possible Tom Hank's involvement? Perhaps the bodies of 400 slaves from the Civil War era lie at the murky depths. Such theory explains the paranormal activity in our quant town. Esteemed historians and officials are working to validate these theories. However, one official claimed the water in our town contained traces of hallucinogen. Unfortunately, I could not find nor communicate with said official as he turned out to be nonexistent.

And in sad news tonight, many residents are undergoing a Deja Vu when the apartments next to Village Inn were condemned. The reason was because of damage from Hurricane Irma and the growth of mold. The unfortunate residents were displaced several times in the past due to storms and fires. Many are without their possessions, and are staying in FEMA hotels outside of town. Please offer them prayer and thoughts.

With September now over, and October beginning, please be advised the number of ghostly sightings and strange lights in the sky will increase, becoming more prominent than usual. If you see weird happenings, you are advised to forget about it, and move on with life. Please, do not dress in Clown outfits and run amok during the night. Do not taunt the ghosts about their deaths; they are quite sensitive about that. This too shall pass. The haunting a will die down at the end of the month. The strangeness, however, is here to stay. It is Titusville anyways.