Jungkook's Light

Chapter 27

~Jiwoo~

It's been a week since Jungkook and his members departed. I knew they were busy preparing for their concerts so I didn't call them or text them like I used to. I focused on my job and my health, knowing it's something I have to do.

It wasn't easy though.

Ever since seeing Gunho that night... I've been having more nightmares – more so than when he passed away. It's hard for me because Jungkook wasn't here. His members weren't as well. So I was left all alone. Just like always.

Just like I deserve it, I thought to myself, grimly.

As I made my way towards the kitchen to make myself something to eat, my phone rang. Walking back to the sofa to get my phone, my heart raced when I saw Jungkook's name flashing on my screen.

I cleared my throat like it's going to help calm my nerves. It didn't.

"H-hello?"

I heard him chuckled, "What?"

"Nothing," I mumbled. "Why are you calling?"

"The hyungs wanted me to check up on you."

And that just made my heart dropped. Right. He doesn't remember me. Why would he want to check up on me, right? Of course, it'll be the members.

"I'm good," I said, bitterly.

"Hm?"

"I'm a little busy," I said, trying to force my hurt down. "You called at the wrong time."

"Liar."

"I'm not—"

"I know today's your day off," he cut me off. "You don't do anything on your day off except for eating and sleep."

I opened my mouth to deny it but decided against it.

Jungkook chuckled, "Nothing?"

I sat down on the sofa, curling into a ball. "Should you be talking to me? Don't you have practices or something?"

"It's two in the morning."

My eyes bugged out. "Then you should be sleeping!"

"I wanted to talk to you."

I blinked a few times, ignoring the blush creeping to my cheeks. "Oh."

Jungkook sighed, softly, "What, you got nothing to say to me?"

"Well, not really," I mumbled.

"Nothing at all?"

"Um... I hope things goes well tomorrow," I said, clearing my throat. "You guys are performing tomorrow, right?"

"Mm."

I nodded, slowly, glancing outside the window. "What's the weather like there?"

"Cold."

"Then dress warmly."

Jungkook laughed, soft and short. "Tell that to our stylists."

I smiled. Right.

We fell into silence, just listening to each other breathe for a long while. I'll be honest and say that it's comforting, knowing that Jungkook is here. It makes me miss the old times with him.

The thought brought tears to my eyes.

"Jiwoo?"

"Y-yeah?"

Jungkook said nothing for a bit and I think he's hesitating. Why was he hesitating?

I thought about how long I've been keeping him in the dark. My appointment... there wasn't any good news. I don't know how much time I have until my next attack but I knew... if I was to die, Jungkook will be left, not knowing anything. Although my chest aches every time, I think of how I left my brother to burn, I couldn't keep Jungkook in the dark forever. I know I want to keep it from him but if I lose my life...it just hurts imagining how Jungkook will act, not knowing a single thing about me.

I may never be able to confess my sins to Jungkook but he deserves to know. Even if he chooses to walk away, well, I deserve it. Someone who leaves their little brother to burn... doesn't deserve anything but pain.

With this thought in mind, I opened my mouth to speak but was cut off by Jungkook speaking.

"I'll let you go."

"Huh?"

"I need to sleep," Jungkook said, "Call if you need, yeah?"

With that, he hung up.