Jungkook's Light

Chapter 30

~Jungkook~

After hearing the news that Jiwoo suffered another attack, Jungkook rushed out of there. He'd taken a shower and was about to sleep when he got the call. Jungkook didn't hesitate and got himself on a plane despite his managers' protests. Not wanting to waste any more time than he already has, Jungkook left without saying a single word to his members as he passed by Taehyung's room.

They should know by now, Jungkook thought to himself as he sat on the bench, leaning his elbows on his knees, dropping his head down, eyes shut. That I got my memories back.

He'd landed just over an hour ago and rushed to the hospital where Jiwoo was. Jungkook was thankful that the flight was only four and a half hours but even so he couldn't help but worry about Jiwoo.

Please don't let me lose her now, Jungkook prayed, clasping his hands together, resting his forehead against them. Please don't take her from me, Gunho. Don't let anyone take her from me.

As Jiwoo was having her surgery, Jungkook let himself remember everything.

After seeing how real Jiwoo's nightmares were, Jungkook left to investigate and it was there that he learnt of Jiwoo's past. A past she never told Jungkook and by the looks of things, she never wanted to either.

Ready to confront her and be there for her, Jungkook made his way back to her... only to get caught in an accident which wiped his memories of her. His last thoughts? They were of Jiwoo. The last person he saw before his world went black? It was Jiwoo's face. No wonder he forgot about her. It was his fear of losing her and leaving her behind that cause him to forget her and everything they've shared.

Jungkook will never forgive himself for how he treated her after forgetting her but there was one thing he couldn't forget too. The fact that she'd let him forget her.

When Jungkook finally remembered her, he was filled with so many emotions to the point where it drove him mad. His chest ached when he realised that she was letting him forget her. That she was pulling away from him. That the members were letting her too. It made him question their relationship and their bond.

With no one to confide in, Jungkook decided to keep quiet. He wanted to see what it is that Jiwoo planned for herself and how long she plans to keep her past from him. He wanted to know if she loves him enough to live—just like before.

Jungkook was also mad that she kept her illness from him. That a part of her didn't plan on having the surgery—filled with the survivor's guilt of losing her brother. He couldn't forgive her easily for lying to him after promising to never lie to him again. He couldn't forgive the members for keeping quiet too.

~Jiwoo~

"Gun...ho?" I whispered.

There he was. Right in front of me.

He was wearing the exact same clothes he was wearing on the day he died. He looks just like himself on the day I left him to die.

"Am I dead?" I whispered, taking a step towards him.

Gunho's sad eyes watched me in silence. Like usual, he didn't speak at all. He just—watched me.

"I'm sorry," I cried, "I'm sorry I couldn't save you. I've always known that after abandoning you like that, that I don't deserve to be happy. That's why I lost everything."

He blew out a silent sigh and then took a step towards me. I watched as he reached out, his small hand trembling as they caress my cheek slightly.

He mouthed something at me.

"What?"

He smiled and tried speaking again even though nothing came out.

"Wake...up?"

He nodded.

"Am I not dead?"

He shook his head. No? Then why can I see him? I am sure I'd collapsed after getting another attack. I was told that I will most likely die if it happens again. If I'm not dead then why can I see him?

Gunho dropped his hand and then took a step back from me. He opened his mouth again to speak and I couldn't make out another except for the "waiting."

"What?"

He frowned and then tried again.

I shook my head, telling him that I don't understand him.

Gunho opened his mouth and this time, mouthed slowly for me to understand him. When I did, my eyes widened. "Jung...kook?"

He smiled, Jungkook is waiting.

Tears welled in my eyes.

Go back.

I could hear people talking around me and then I was being pulled away from Gunho. I could hear the sounds of machines beeping. No matter how much I struggled to go to him, I couldn't get close to him like before.

Gunho took a deep breath and then opened his mouth. This time I could hear his voice. For the first time since he passed away, I was able to hear him.

"Not your fault," he said loudly and then flinched when he heard his voice. His eyes locked on mine and then for the first time since forever, he smiled with his eyes and all. A smile lighting up his whole face. A smile that holds no sadness in them. "So be happy, noona. I love you and I will always be with you... here."

He pointed to his heart and then pointed at mine.

I struggled to move back towards him but it was no good. I was being pulled away from him.

He said something else but I couldn't hear him anymore. I could, however, make out what he was trying to say.

Forgive yourself and move on.