Jungkook's Light

Chapter 1

~Jiwoo~

I took the stairs, trying to tell myself that everything was going to be okay. I grabbed hold of staircase handrail, stopping to catch my breath as I was starting to feel weaker than usual.

"Are you alright?" one of the nurses asked me when she saw that I was struggling to breathe.

I just forced myself to nod before making my way towards Jungkook's room. When I received the call that Jungkook got into an accident, I rushed over. The members were still at the company working on some last-minute stuff and I was the closest to Jungkook. It didn't take that long for Jungkook's accident to be announced worldwide. I was anxiously waiting for some news from Jungkook's company but they haven't made any announcements yet and so that's why I decided to see for myself.

I can't lose him, I thought to myself, feeling my chest hurting. Tears spring to my eyes and I blinked them away, knowing that he hates it when I cry. Crying wasn't going to help me, so all I could do was just pray that Jungkook is okay. 

I came to a stop and checked to make sure the number on the door was the right one before I grabbed hold of the door knob and opened the door.

Jungkook flinched the minute I opened the door a little too loudly. My eyes scanned him, trying to see if there were major injuries when the doctors walked in from behind me. 

"Ah, are you two related?" the doctor asked, glancing up from his clipboard. 

"I'm his fiancée," I told the doctor. I was too worried to even notice that Jungkook's head jerked back at the word 'fiancee'. "Is Jungkook okay?"

"He's lucky it wasn't too bad," the doctor said to me. "Aside from some cuts and bruises on, there was internal bleeding. He's always suffering from a fractured wrist and a minor head injury..."

I walked towards Jungkook who was sitting on his bed, looking at me blankly. "Are you hurting somewhere too?" I raised my trembling hands, desperate to touch him and remind myself that he's still here with me. 

"Who...who are you?"

My hands stopped mid-air. "What?"

Jungkook shifted, clearly uncomfortable by how close I was to him. "Um, I don't know who you are. Can you—not come too close to me? I don't like having people too close to me."

I stared at him, hoping that this is Jungkook playing his usual pranks on me. My heart was racing faster than usual when I realise that he was, in fact, serious. 

He looked at the doctor, worriedly, "Is it okay if I'm alone until my members or family members get here?"

I could feel the doctor's eyes on me but I kept my eyes pinned on Jungkook. I felt lightheaded by what he'd just said and I looked at the doctor, desperately wishing he'd tell me that this isn't what I'm thinking it is.

Instead of answering me, he looked at me sympathetically, gesturing for me to follow him. I glanced once more at Jungkook's blank face before following the doctor outside.

It was there that I learn that Jungkook can't remember anything from the past five months... which means he doesn't remember ever meeting me or asking me to marry him. I clutched onto my chest, feeling the throbbing pain as I let the information sink in.

Stay calm, I told myself, feeling tears welled in my eyes, My heart might stop beating if I don't stay calm.

I sat there for what seems like ages until I couldn't stand it any longer and barged back into Jungkook's room. I didn't want to believe that he'd forgotten about me. He couldn't have, right? Jungkook's always got a few tricks up his sleeves... he loves to joke around with me. Either way, if I was to beg him to stop playing with me, he'd stop. That was the only way to confirm that he really has forgotten about me.

Jungkook stared at me.

I closed the door behind me and took a step towards him. I watched as Jungkook shrink back a little and then winced from the pain. My heart broke at that. Was he afraid of me?

"Jungkook," I began, feeling my throat tightening.

"My hyungs," he began, looking for some sort of escape.

"Did you really forget me?"

"I don't know who you are," Jungkook replied. Desperation outlined his features as he looked me straight in the eyes, "Please just leave. You're making me uncomfortable—I can't...I don't want to do this."

"I—" I took another step towards Jungkook.

"Don't," he said, his tone filled with irritation and his eyes shaking with fear.

"Calm down, Jungkook," I said, trying to stay calm myself. "This is just temporary memory loss. D-don't you want to remember the past five months?" I hesitated. "Or me?"

"I don't know if I want to remember you," Jungkook said, slowly.

I tried not to let that hurt me. Of course, he doesn't want to remember the pain I've put him through the past five months. Jungkook and I overcame it but it was never easy to forget too. 

"What's your name?" Jungkook asked.

Hope filled me. "Jiwoo."

"Jiwoo," Jungkook murmured. I watched as he tried to search through his memories , knowing there was no hope because we'd met and got engage during the last five months. There's no way he'd remember me.

When he's unable to remember who I am, Jungkook sighed and then turned to me, "When is the wedding?"

I was surprised when Jungkook asked me that. No, not just surprised... I was a little afraid too. I had a really bad feeling and something was warning me to just change the topic. However, I wasn't about to just change the topic, not when Jungkook was curious and trying to piece things together. It might even make him remember a few things from our past too.

"In three months."

I knew he was shocked by it because his eyes widened at that. Jungkook looked down at his hands and I watched as he fidgets for a few minutes. Jungkook lifted his head and locked his eyes with mine. I saw him searching for the truth in my eyes and I knew he saw that I wasn't lying. Still, he was just silently watching me. When I couldn't take the silence any longer, I said, "Jungkook—"

"I can't be engaged to you!" Jungkook said, loudly.

I jerked back.

Jungkook lifted his hand and rubbed the back of his neck, clearly conflicted about the whole thing.

"Jungkook?" I whispered, feeling tears welled in my eyes.

He dropped his hand and then shook his head. "I—you're not...you're not even my type. How are we even engaged?" he hesitated and then said, "Did my parents arrange this marriage or something?"

I stared at him, feeling my heart breaking all over again.

"You're not," he began and then hesitated. "you're not my type. I'd never..."

I didn't let him finish because I was already out the door, slamming it behind me.