I'm Not Supposed To Like You

S I X

Trigger Warning: suicide attempt. Please proceed with caution if you are sensitive to this topic.

   I woke up the next morning with a groan. The world was covered with a fuzzy effect, my eyes going blurry. I couldn't make out where I was at first. When I came to, I found I was still in my bathroom. Leaning against the wall for support, my vision became more clear and my memories started coming back. Looking at my hands, I just stared, remembering shortly after what I tried to do. Standing up on my feet, I wobbled out of the bathroom and to the nearest window. If anyone saw the way I was walking, they would most definitely think I was drunk. Looking through the glass, the sun was barely coming up. I contemplated missing school but decided against it since I ditched yesterday. Going back to the bathroom, I found a roll of gauze in the bottom cabinet and wrapped my arms up. I didn't care to clean them. The roll wasn't nearly big enough and only really went up to my elbows but it will have to do.

   There was no hiding my hands. They were covered in white blisters from the lighter and it hurt to use my quirk but it was still there. My burnt legs were a different story. It hurt like hell to walk but I could hide them easily with my school uniform pants, though I'd have to wear baggy ones instead of fitted jeans for comfort. Brushing through my hair with my fingers, the puddle of blood I was in soaked the ends of my hair but it was too late to take a shower so I tried picking the dried blood out. It just resulted in small red blobs on my hair that looked like dried paint. I didn't care. It's not like anyone would ask about it anyways. 

  My neck wasn't something I could cover easily and I didn't have enough gauze left to wrap it so I just left the bloody mess there. I looked awful, covered in burns, blisters, and blood but somehow still walking. I grabbed my blazer and backpack and left. The walk was silent, the birds even too tired to make the early chirping noises. The dew on the grass made my shoes squeak. When I walked, I soaked the bottom of my baggy uniform jeans. My bag felt like it was weighing me down despite the fact that I didn't have anything in it. The gauze on my arms made my limbs feel stiff and hard to bend and my legs were tender and painful to walk on with the burns. I  was in utter pain, dread and  agony coursing through my body, showing no sign of going away. Despite the bad mood and condition I was in, it was sunny and breezy today. The decent weather promised no rain meaning more par practice outside. Fuck. 

   I made it to school slower than usual, the halls filled with the other students making their daily commute. The second I walked in, everybody went silent. Staring eyes met my body and nobody dared to speak to me or anyone around. The students parted the halls making a straight path to my locker. Opening the locker door, I picked up my books and stuffed them in my bag. Flinging it on my back, I stumbled a little, my legs almost giving out. Grabbing my locker door for support, I got my balance back. As soon as I did, the door was slammed shut, a smug look on Dabi's face. Scowling, I turned away from him. "You look rough today." He commented, grabbing my bag and turning me to face him. "Go away Dabi. I don't want to see you right now." Letting go, he smiles his stupid smile of sarcasm. "Oh, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed." Everyone else took this as a queue to go back to normal because people started laughing. I just ignored it, and opened my locker door again. "Oh no, have something that's going to hurt me." Left shoe off. "He really is a villain." Right shoe off. Stuffing them in my locker, I smiled at everyone. "Well, if I'm a villain and you're a hero, shouldn't you stop doing this? I guess even as a hero, you couldn't save me. But I don't blame you; I think I'm too broken for this world. But of course, you already knew that and I did too. I don't blame you for being unable to save me. I just thought that, maybe you would have made the effort." And with that, I dropped my shoes on the ground with a loud thump,  letting them get a good look at my hands, my sleeves sliding up to show the gauze on my arms. Taking off my blazer, I let everyone around get a good look at how broken I was and I threw the blazer towards Dabi. He caught the jacket, looking down at it before looking at me with fear in his eyes. 

   Smiling one last time, I turned around and walked up the stairs. I didn't hear anyone follow behind me. I didn't hear anyone talk. Nobody. Just silence. Making it up more flights of stairs, I reached the rooftop. It was always unlocked since most students had lunch up here but because it was early, nobody was here. Standing on one of the benches, I looked through the wire railing they had around the top for safety. It was probably twenty stories high. Nobody would survive a jump from up here. Grabbing the railing, it dissolved away leaving a patch without fencing around it. "Wait stop!" I heard a familiar voice scream. Turning to face him, I smiled. "Why should I? I'm just a villain. You said it best yourself. And villains aren't worth anything." He looked terrified, trying to do anything in his power to get me down. "I know I said that but you aren't. I don't mean the things I say. They come from a dark place of my mind that I'm too scared to admit I have. I know taking that out in you isn't the option I should be taking. I know, I am the one that needs help. You're right you know? You're broken. But so am I. And so is everyone else in some sort of way. But it's these things that keep the world going. If everyone was perfect, the world would be no fun. I wouldn't have met someone as amazing as you are. Please. Don't do this." 

   "You really should think about the things you say before you say them. Because even though you 'don't mean them' they still hurt. Especially coming from someone you've loved for so long. But I'm killing you right? You said it yourself. So, in a way, I am the villain. I am a bad person. I'm killing everyone with my burdens. With my terrible qualities. With being me. And I'm sorry okay. I'm sorry you have to deal with someone so unlikeable. I still don't understand how you fell for me. I seriously don't understand." I was crying now. I'm weak. I turned away from him now, staring down at the ground below me. Just one step off and it would be over. One step away from the freedom of life. But before I could even think about it, I felt a hand on my shoulder. Turning me around, he grabbed me and put me back on the ground. "I know I'm Not Supposed To Like You, but I can't help it. You're too amazing to not fall for." With a smile, a genuine smile, he wrapped his arms around me but I couldn't hug him back. 

   He sat me down on the bench, pulling out the medical box from his backpack again. "Can I please see your arms? I'd like to make sure you're okay." He said. He grabs my arm and starts to unwrap with gauze I had put on it this morning. Without a word, he takes hydrogen peroxide and puts in on a small rag, wiping my arms gently. "They will get infected if you don't clean them. I know it hurts but you're strong so I know you can manage." Taking clean gauze, he wraps my arm before doing the same to the other. "You don't play off pain easily. Roll up your pant legs." I was hesitant at first but then I slowly lifted the forest green fabric to show my burns. He put Vaseline on the small circular scolds and put bandaids in little 'x's over them. "I saw your hands too. Let me see." Laying my hands palm up on his big hands, he grabs something from inside his bag. "These aren't exactly specially made but they're artist gloves. It's really so you don't smear your pencil lead but they would work better for you. They aren't like regular gloves, they only cover two fingers so you can pick things up without decaying things away. What do you think?" He became more quiet and shy like, looking at the black gloves in his hands. "I think they will work perfectly." Slipping them on my hands, the material was soft against my burns and when touching the bench beside me, it didn't dissolve away. "They work!" I smiled at him. He grabbed my hands and kissed each of them before pulling me into a hug, lifting me off the ground a little. Dropping me a moment later, I grabbed his red tie and pulled him down kissing him. 

   We smiled for a second letting the world disappear around us before we were broken away from the clicking of a phone camera.