When you've been forgotten

A Flashback of Realization (8) (edits)

Maybe one day it would stop hurting... and one day in Harry's fourth year it did. All of a sudden the yearning in his heart for parental love vanished. It was filled with a new and fresh kind of love, one that had been growing for the past four years. A love for a platinum blonde boy with the most beautiful and full eyes. Although something unusual had happened the summer before, Harry's parents woke up. 

It was around Alex's birthday when something truly awful happened, Alex found Hary's old room. 

The room could only be described as dusty, old, baren, and unwanted. There were pictures hanging across the walls, not quite looking happy. They pictured Harry looking out the window at Alex. One was a flower wilting. The flower somehow looked empty, broken.

Alex ran his hand across the wall, touching each drawing feeling the individual quil marks on each sheet of carefully hung parchment. Each picture varied in skill, getting better and better as you got closer to the twin bed in the corner. Unlike Alex's room, no posters hang. No color is shown, except the ancient-looking books that were placed on the ground, because of the absence of a bookshelf. 

One picture caught Alex's eye, a picture of a little boy making his own birthday party in his room. He looked to be making paper hats and a sign that said, Happy Birthday Harry. Alex remembered that day. He teased his brother relentlessly for the sad scene when he found Harry in his room. This was their tenth birthday.  A birthday neither one of them would ever forget. 

Harry sat on the floor of his room. His dad had reminded him over and over again not to go downstairs. Don't interrupt Alex's party, so he made his own. He rolled up parchment into a party hat and made himself a sign. Happy Birthday, Harry. Harry looked at the reflection in his window. One day he would get a card saying simply, Harry we love you. You are a part of our family, but it never happened. No matter what he did, no one seemed to remember it was his birthday as well, but why would they care anyway. Tears started to slowly trickle down his cheek, just as Alex ramed open his door. 

Alex looked at his brother and laughed.

"What, too good for my birthday."

 Until that day, Alex never knew him and Harry shared a birthday. 

"Mom and dad wanted me to give you this."

Just like that Alex ran out of the room and Harry looked at the letter with hope. He wiped away his tears and carefully opened the envelope, only to find all it was, was a reminder to give Alex a birthday present, saying he always forgot. Most people would expect Harry to be angry, but to be frank, Harry was only ten. He wasn't angry, but he was devastated. He truly just wanted the parental love he so sorely lacked. 

Alex couldn't believe he could be that mean to his brother. What in his younger self chose to ignore Harry's obvious need for love. Then on the floor, he saw something interesting, Harry's journal. 

Dear Journal,

Padfoot and Mooney gave this to me before they forgot about me. I get it not like I'm rememberable. Anyway, today is Christmas. I drew a wreath for above my bed. I'm really hungry, but I wouldn't want to disturb mommy and daddy at Christmas. I know that this is the year they will come upstairs and bring me down for presents. This year I made them both drawings. 

The drawings were taped to the journal and showed a young Harry getting a hug from both is parents. Alex thought back to his childhood. he truly never noticed that Harry wasn't at Christmas. There were never any presents under the tree for him and no one ever asked where he was after Mooney and Padfoot had forgotten about him. There had to be so much built-up resentment and anger, but Alex never saw that side of Harry. Harry never looked mad just a tad bit broken, but for some reason knowing that felt worse. 

Dear Journal,

Today is the day my brother killed Lord Voldemort when we were babies. They are celebrating downstairs. I got bored with drawing. To be honest, I'm just bored, but I don't want to go downstairs. Dad said I can't after asking for that roll and interrupting Alex's birthday. Does anyone remember it was my birthday too? Besides that, I guess I'm okay. 

I'm okay, such an odd phrase for such a sad entry. 

Dear Journal,

Today I got my Hogwarts letter. I really thought my parents would want to go shopping with me, but at least they gave me money and instructions on how to use the floo powder. I was waiting for this moment, but now I'm leaving for a boarding school. I'm pretty sure my parents will forget about me, but maybe by then, I'll have friends.

Alex put down the journal. Tears silently crept down his pale face. He brushed back his auburn hair and looked out the window. His pale eyes stared back at him, mocking him, mocking Harry. 

He had such a great childhood. He never had to share anything, but apparently there was only one thing Harry really wanted, his parents love. Maybe not even love, maybe he just wanted to be acknowledged. He had done so much and learned so much to show his parents he was worth their time, but a child should never have to show a parent that they are worth their time. 

He never even thought about the fact that Harry wasn't even with them. It was summer break and Harry had been bounced from one house to another for years. 

Alex would never know the pain in Harry's chest every time his parents didn't pick him up at the station, or write him a single letter during the school year. Alex would never know that Harry would wake up crying sometimes wondering why he wasn't good enough. He would never know how hard Harry's first summer away was. How much he just wanted his parents, because even though the families were nice, they weren't his. They wouldn't ever be his, because his parents simply didn't want him. 

A child knowing that their parents don't want them is probably the hardest thing to cope with, and Alex would never know that pain. What would his parents do when they saw this or did they already know? He had to show his parents, but would his parents want to see how much they had hurt their child. They neglected him for so long, would they want to see what they had done? 

I know I already posted this chapter sometimes I repost with edits. I added quite a bit this time.