Whatever You Want To Be

Sidelines

Monty's POV

It was officially the night of our homecoming game, the end of the season. We had known we would play against Hillcrest beforehand, and every game before was just leading up to it. 

The team was pumped up, and so was I. Tonight we would show those preppy assholes how it feels to lose.

~~~

The game started off intensely. Both of our teams were keeping up with each other, making it difficult to score. I was getting more and more angry at Bryce, like I've been doing a lot lately. I was getting agitated at things that shouldn't have affected me as much as they did.

Bryce's words meant so much to me in ways I couldn't understand. It was almost as if I needed his validation in everything I did. No; more. I craved it. This realization made me humiliated.

Why was I so worthless? My father's right about me, he always has been. There was honestly no point to anything I did. I shook the thoughts from my head for the time being as I honed back in on the game.

I had just knocked Bryce over, who had possession of the ball, with a clean hit to the side. The sound of our protective shells hitting each other was satisfying to me. The crowd roared with excitement at the tackle. Once again, Bryce said something to me that only irritated and provoked me.

Losing focus yet again, I started walking towards the team which was gathering for some pep talk. I felt myself gravitated towards something on my right. Naturally I looked over, and I was met with the most beautiful brown eyes. They were the ones I had the privilege to stare at last summer.

If I thought I had already put the "incident" behind me, I was so fucking wrong. Just glancing at him made me want to experience him again. The thought terrified me.

The boy was standing on the sidelines holding a camera. Noticing me, he lowered the camera and held my gaze as I turned away, shaken. Why the hell was he here? He's ruining everything. Again.

I finally made it to the team, determined to have some team spirit. Sweat dripped down my face as I stood in the team huddle. Yup. Over it. Zach was probably saying something inspiring, but I wouldn't know. I failed trying to be hype after about three seconds of hearing Zachy talk. It's fine. I had team spirit earlier. I also listened to Zach's previous pep talk in the locker room. Good enough for me. Now I was just waiting for the game to end. I needed to talk to Bryce after the game. I didn't know about what particularly, I just knew I had to.

I found my thoughts wandering away from Bryce, and back to the boy with molten eyes. Would I talk to him after the game? I decided that avoiding him would be the best option. But I should probably apologize to him though. Right? I don't think I've ever questioned myself more in my life. Every move he made caused me to question my entire existence.

Of course good things never last, as I soon started fuming about Bryce again upon more field encounters. I don't think I'm even mad at him. Deep down I knew I was only acting like this because I was sad. Sad that Bryce, my brother, hated me.

I was used to that I guess, people hating me.

That night we won the game.