Whatever You Want To Be

Kissing

Monty's POV

The night of the homecoming game, Bryce called me a coward. I wanted so badly to be angry at him, but I couldn't, because he was right. I am a coward.

With Bryce's words engraved in my mind, I used them to help me apologize to Winston. Maybe, just maybe, Winston could be the one thing I did right. It made me sad to see him fumble around me out of fear. I didn't want him to be scared of me, but it was my fault. I had to go and ruin everything.

I was shocked when Winston invited me over. I was so sure he wouldn't want anything to do with me. It made me happy and scared at the same time. What would we do at his house... alone. I was annoyed at how much I was acting like a girl, but I accepted the invitation nonetheless.

I have no regrets of that night, of that weekend.  My only regret was being too much of a coward to text him. I convinced myself that it was better that way. Winston didn't need me to go and screw up his life, but I hurt him, only confirming Bryce's words even more.

~~~

Bryce is dead, and I didn't love him. Everyone keeps saying that, and I wish they would stop. I didn't love Bryce for fucks sake. That totally explains the tears streaming down my face.

It doesn't help that those stupid fuckers think I killed him. Ani and Clay just had to come to my house, the one place I didn't want anyone to see, and accuse me of killing my best friend. They got an eyeful of my dad being a drunk and me... well, being me I guess. 

I was now sitting on my bed about to cry with my dad passed out in the front yard. At least I thought he was passed out. Apparently he was now awake, ready to yell at me again. "Stop being a fucking faggot!" I lifted my head to meet his face. "Are you crying? Pathetic little fuck." Before I could shove past him, he grabbed my wrist and swung his fist at my face. It was a poorly executed punch however, so it didn't cause much pain.

I made it to my car, my keys hovering near the ignition. Where was I supposed to go. I mean, the clubhouse sure, but I hadn't brought any supplies with me this time. A thought crossed my mind that I should ask Winston. I sat in my car for a long time arguing with myself. There were two ways it could possibly go. One: He wouldn't even answer my pathetic ass, which was more probable considering I ghosted him. Or Two: He would.

I had to take the chance. My will to see him overcame everything else. Once again, Winston took me by surprise by letting me come over. That was how I ended up in his long driveway parked next to his fancy ass car.

Winston's POV

I could see Monty's car in my driveway. He was probably deciding whether or not he made the wrong decision by coming here. I held my breath waiting for his next move. I had spent the last 10 minutes stressing about if I sounded way to eager to accept him into my house.

I was starting to feel really creepy just watching him when I saw his car door open. I don't think I've ever flown down my stairs faster. I opened the door after the first knock, silently cursing myself for being like this. "Hey." Monty's voice was quiet, and I took notice of the bruise forming on his left cheek. Words I suddenly remembered began to ring in my head. "He gets beat at home and shit." Those were the exact words Bryce Walker had said to me right after Monty beat me up. They were words meant to help excuse Monty's actions, but I realize now the truth behind them. I immediately started to feel for him.

It took me a second to notice that Monty was still standing outside the door awkwardly. Wow, I'm such a good host. I was starting to invite him in, but before I could, Monty blurted, "I'm sorry." He looked down at the ground in front of him, guilt radiating from him. "For what?" I asked. "I didn't text you and I'm barging into your house. You don't have to do this. I can leave if- " "It's okay. Really," I cut him off. "Now come inside," I said. Monty nodded, walking into the foyer.

"Do you want anything to drink?" I asked. He responded saying, "I'm good." There was some awkward silence as we both sat down on the couch. "Are you okay?" I asked after a few seconds. Monty's eyes met mine, begging for comfort. He didn't need to say anything for me to understand that he wasn't. Monty was never okay.

I started to lean closer to him, keeping eye contact as a silent permission to keep going. He didn't move, so I took that as a sign to keep going. My face was now centimeters from his, and I could feel his hot breath fanning against my lips. I brought my hand to the back of his neck, connecting our lips. Monty never kissed with tongue, I had noticed. I think the act is to intimate for him or something. Maybe it's too gay for him. This didn't stop me from wanting it though.

Monty's hands reached out to cup my face. The kiss was more gentle than the others we had shared before. It was longing, compassionate. I moved my position so that I straddled Monty's waist, our lips melding together. I wanted to enter my tongue. Would he reject that?

I ran my tongue along his bottom lip, asking for entrance. Entrance which was not granted. I tried a different approach, going slowly as to not force him into anything. I just wanted to let him experience something he might enjoy.

I bit his lower lip now, gently pulling his lips apart. My tongue slipped into his warm mouth and I could tell he was taken aback. He started to moan as my tongue circled his. Everything was soft and warm as Monty started to move on his own. Monty's head had to tilt up with me sitting on his lap, allowing me even better access. Our tongues explored each others mouths and it felt so damn good.

I hated myself for needing to breathe, as I pulled away from Monty. I couldn't help myself from smiling when Monty whined at the loss of my mouth.

Monty's POV

Jesus christ. I was so into kissing Winston I literally just fucking whined when he stopped. My brain was shouting at me to take back the power, to stop being such a worthless faggot.

Winston's POV

Monty pushed me down onto the couch so that he was now on top of me, in full domination of my body. I decided Monty always felt he had to be in control. I completely understood his need for power, so I didn't stop him from having his way with me. Besides, it's not like I was resisting anyways.

Monty looked down at me with fire in his eyes before he started to devour me. His lips engulfed mine, as his tongue dominated my mouth. Now that he had gotten past using tongue for the first time, he was all for it.

His hands slid under my shirt, feeling up my chest and abdomen. Our kisses were getting more and more intense, and I started to wonder how Monty had such good breath control. As Monty's hands moved lower, I panicked a little bit. I hadn't prepared for... you know. My air supply had run out again so I gently pushed my palm to Monty's chest, prompting him to stop.

Monty's POV

Winston's face was really red and he was breathing really hard. I instantly felt bad for some reason and quickly got off of him, telling my brain to shut up. I felt ashamed and started to look down at my hands, the hands that I've used for so much bad. I didn't deserve to be here, kissing Winston. Before I could stop myself, I started to cry.