Bad Girls Don't Cry

Chapter 16

Nick and his friends decided to come stay at the hostel where I was staying. I didn't run into him there, though. He messaged me in the evening that he was at a sports bar close to the beach and he wanted me to meet him there. When I arrived, he was sitting with his group around an old picnic table outside the open-aired venue. He stood up when he saw me approaching and quickly ushered me to a high table towards the back of the bar. The place was quite large with televisions everywhere showing some sporting event that was happening somewhere in the world. It was pretty packed with tourists who were playing games and enjoying large beer towers.

We started with some small talk; catching up on the adventures we each had had since we had last run into each other. I picked up my phone and opened up the voice recorder.
"Are you ready?" I asked. Nick nodded.
"I was born ready."
I hit the red button and our interview began.

Nick and I spoke for nearly an hour. He seemed like he really knew what he was talking about. Our stories were eerily similar; his from the dom's perspective and mine from the sub's. I was enjoying hearing things from his point of view; the reasons he enjoyed being dominant, the kind of power that surged through him as he towered over a helpless 'victim' and I started getting aroused by his words. I didn't let them overcome me, however. I knew by that point I needed to know more about him before letting him take me over.

He said he wasn't worried about social taboos because he didn't judge people for what they liked. He believed it was important to communicate about preferences first as he said he didn't want to "freak someone out". Some of his stories seemed intense to me; like when he said he used to make his ex-girlfriend black out for 30 seconds at a time by grabbing the sides of her throat so that he wasn't choking her air supply, but rather the blood-flow to her brain. I felt nervous about the prospect and knew immediately it was not something I would enjoy. There was no element of fear, simply slowly dazing out of consciousness and I found no appeal in that. I told him outright what I thought about it. We held nothing back. He told me she wasn't into the fear aspect, but that she liked the feeling of waking up confused once she came to. He said he would get nervous when she was out cold, but eventually he got used to it and would just continue having sex with her while she was blacked out. I remember cringing at the prospect and he laughed. He was unashamed of it, as I knew he should be. Who are we to judge, after all?

The women he had previously experimented with had been masochists. He loved hurting them and they loved being hurt. I told him I wasn't into pain; it was just a tool to make me subservient, to be used in the beginning to keep me under control so I knew what would happen if I stepped out of line. The pain was supposed to be a punishment when I misbehaved.

Throughout the interview, I told him about some of the harrowing experiences I had had, like what happened with Sam and the effects that ordeal had on me for years afterwards. But he was so confident and there was something about him that was turning me on. He said he wanted us to communicate openly about our preferences and that made me feel like he was in control and understood the rules. He told me that he "enjoyed beating a woman because she deserves it" but only if he knew she was enjoying it. He said they would have had to have a conversation beforehand so she could tell him what she likes and so even if she would be crying and begging him to stop punishing her, if she doesn't use her Safeword, he wouldn't stop.

"That's what the Safeword is there for. If she doesn't use it, she doesn't actually want me to stop. So I enjoy beating her. But the Safeword is there for a reason so, as long as it's not said, I don't feel remorse," he said confidently.
"I've always had a problem using my Safeword. I think it's a question of pride. It feels like a copout. But I get mad when a guy goes too far and forces me to use it. Like, he should know better, you know?"
"Yeah for sure," Nick nodded.