Bad Girls Don't Cry

Chapter 18

I finished writing and contemplating the night's events and I decided to send Nick a message. I don't think I was trying to bait him. I think I needed to know where he was so I could sleep more soundly that night and not worry he was still around. Then again, he probably took my messages as an invitation. 

Me: "So you left... probably for the best. I'm destroyed. Every time I heard the door open when I was sleeping I felt a panic so intense. You would have seen how you had broken me if you would have stayed. But again, probably better this way for my sanity."

N: "You should still be scared, because I know where you're staying and what dorm. Maybe tonight I will come find you. Or if I decide you will come to me because if you don't, there is always a punishment waiting. I will see you again in Cambodia. Remember you belong to me."

Me: "This fear is too intense. I'm jumping with every shadow, my muscles haven't been unclenched in nearly a day and I feel physically sick. I've never been so scared in my life. I belong to you but I'm terrified of it. I believe you went to Kampot. It's the only thought that gives me comfort."

N: "No I'm in the sports bar from last night."

Me: "Please don't come for me tonight, Nick. I'm so broken from what you did to me."

N: "Ok if you aren't here by midnight, I will come to your hostel and make you regret. You know I will. It's only a 3$ taxi."

Me: "I honestly can't go anywhere. I feel physically ill. Feels like food poisoning. Maybe it is, maybe it's your fist beating me from the inside. I dunno, but there's no way I can go anywhere."

N: "Well I hope you feel better, if you don't get here by midnight I won't hold it against you. The fisting was a bit much last night I suppose. This time is your only respite. But honestly, [Safeword], feel better."

Me: "Thank you. Again, please don't come for me tonight. I'm [Safewording] you abusing me tonight. I feel like I'm dying. Have a good night, I'm passing out now."

N: "Actually fuck you. Who are you to tell me what I should or shouldn't do. We agree [Safeword] only gets called with actual abuse. I'm not near you. Get to the bar by midnight or it's a 3$ ride for me."

Me: "[Safeword] gets called with anything I don't want. I'm literally sick. This is not about power. Please DON'T come tonight. I'm serious. [Safeword]."

N: "It's a shame because you are so sexy beautiful and amazing I want to treat you right when you behave. You deserve that. When you are good you can be my princess."

Me: "Being sick doesn't make me bad. I wish I could make you happy tonight but I'm seriously writhing in pain and would be completely useless to you tonight. I'm nauseous and my insides feel like they've been ripped apart."

N: "So you are really calling [Safeword] over a text message. I'm not even close enough for you to be scared. You are weak and pathetic. I didn't fuck you because you're a shit cave cunt and didn't deserve my cock. All I used you for was a facial. You're lucky I gave you a bath instead of complete humiliation and make you walk back like that."

Me: "I'M SICK YOU ASS this is not part of the game. Don't come. That's it. I'm resting now. Enough."

N: "It's embarrassing that you're so weak you can't handle it. Come see me now or I will turn up."

Me: "You better not."

N: "You're nothing or no one. I will see you in 10 minutes. I'm on my way but I decided you weren't worth 3 dollars. Walking your way now. Prepare your pussy for another punishment."