Bad Kind of Butterflies ♧ DazaiXReaderXDOA

6. Tell-Tale Heart

Working in a casino, it wasn't the first time some man offered to entertain you, but the way Dazai handled every game and was always ahead of every thought, it was the first time you did not regret accepting the offer. It wasn't that Dazai was different, because he reminded you a bit of the men in the decay of angels, but it was the feeling he brought out in you.

You couldn't describe it, but every time Dazai played a winning card, the glow in his eyes as he looked at you with a knowing smirk, the way he tried to joke around and lighten the mood around you, all while having a melancholic gleam fixed in his eyes. He wasn't someone that stayed in the lines of logic, and it amazed you how well he played his roles.

However...you know he's not showing all sides of him. When you first met him years ago, he seemed like a different person. More empty, bored. It all interested you immensely.

His heart even sounds lighter, but the beats are still so...

Scattered.

The world seemed to spin in a bind of colours around Dazai, and it pulled you to be a part of it, his thoughts, his way of living.

He saw life differently, like there were no limits, like death didn't matter. If he jumped, you wondered if you would too to, just to simply feel the thrill of falling he seemed to search for.

"[f/n]?" Dazai taps your shoulder gently as he smiles, amused.

You realize you had been staring at him long after the game had ended, your cards dropping from your hand, head immediately turning away as you laugh to yourself, embarrassed and apologizing to those waiting. You then get up from your seat, putting a hand to your face as Dazai collects his winnings and goes towards you, an odd innocence in his expression.

I started thinking too much again.

"So, do you trust me yet? You seemed pre-tty entertained over there" Dazai laughs, watching you look away from his complete direction.

Stop getting so flustered, [f/n]! You're smarter than this.

You kept trying to pull yourself together, grounded to reality, but every time you tried, your mind spun, and your thoughts went wild. The heartbeats of others around you filled your senses, your own beating faster and echoing hard in your ears anytime Dazai got closer, anytime he tried with his charms.

He just wants you to tell him all he wants to know.

"You aren't going to get anything from me" you try to assure him, demanding him to stop as you turn back to him after semi-calming yourself down.

"Nothing?"

"No"

"Not even a double suicide?"

"What?"

"Consider it. Anyways, see, [f/n]...there's more to life than what you can hear." Dazai says, casually leading you towards a quieter area next to people enjoying a few drinks, completely uninterested in anything happening around them, convenient for the both of you.

You're confused by what the brunette has just said, until he places a hand on his heart and his expression turns more serious than it had been all night.

"It's not that you don't trust me. You don't trust this"

You look between him and his hand on his heart, until you process his implications. Placing a hand subconsciously on your ear, you let out a soft gasp.

"You figured it out..." you whisper, true wonder lighting up in your eyes.

"It wasn't too hard. You're hyper aware of everything around you, and after seeing you try to use part of your ability on me, I was curious why you seemed to see through everyone. You're something else you know" Dazai explains, searching your face as you step closer to him.

I can't keep denying so much to him, I'll explode. I need to play this properly.

"You've managed to amaze me, Dazai. I only know a few others who can do that. You're right, I can hear hearts. Every beat, every intention. It makes one lose a bit of reason hm? I can hear my own...and right now, I can hear yours just as loud. Hearts are always telling away their tales." you whisper so only he hears you, and you place a hand against his, over his heart area, and neither of you break each other's gaze.

"Someone else here knows that don't they? That's why you've been here for years."

"Yes, and?"

"You've convinced yourself you're protecting the great Sky Casino...but I think you're protecting your own rhythm. Or maybe...you don't know what to do without them giving you a purpose"

You breathe in and don't allow yourself to respond, focusing on calming the loud beating drumming in your ears.

"Have I won yet?" Dazai asks, his voice low and soft, leaning in slightly.

"With all due respect, Detective, I think you should focus on what you're here for instead of being against a wall with a girl on top"

Dazai lets out a low, whisper-like chuckle, some of his semi-waved brown hair falling over his eyes as he tilts his head downwards, his eyes looking at you through his dark eyelashes.

"Aren't you the one that accepted?"

"Aren't you on a job?"

"You're the most interesting lead."

Slowly, you let go of Dazai, pulling away from him, noticing your hearts beating to the same drums, butterflies uncontrollable in your stomach.

You can't keep humouring him.

"Thank you for choosing Sky Casino as your destination. I hope you enjoy your stay" you recite to him once you're far enough away from him to not hear any further whispers. You end with a small smile, turning away, only stopping when you hearing Dazai's last words to you for the night.

"Now I have neither happiness nor unhappiness. I'll win this game you're playing, [f/n]. Everything passes."

Keep trying to catch this little mouse, Dazai. She belongs to rats.

---

Making it to your room, you're finally able to breathe, your hands shaking out of realization of what had just happened. It was pretty late, and your body was begging you to sleep while your emotions went on a mini rampage inside you.

I'm playing too close to fire.

You sit on your bed, running a hand through your hair and letting out a deep sigh. Falling back wards and letting your body fall on the soft bed covers, you stare at the ceiling, trying to piece everything together until your heart stops when you remember what tomorrow would bring.

Fyodor.

I'll be seeing Fyodor again and Nikolai with him...Sigma will probably be there too...

They have my loyalty, they do...but...why am I getting such a heavy feeling with Dazai in my head?

I know what's going on in this casino is dangerous...but I've made my deal.

Fyodor Dostoevsky...it's been a while since I've last seen you.

I wonder...

I wonder if I'll still feel the same.