Resisting Love (#1)

Nick's P.O.V.

Nick's P.O.V.

       It's been almost a month without her and this was so much worse than when she was taken. It was worse, because she left willingly. She was out there, alive and without me. I couldn't help but think that this was all my fault. If I hadn't turned her, she wouldn't have left. But she also wouldn't be marked, I reminded myself. 

       I hadn't slept. At all. As a part vampire, I didn't necessarily need sleep. I could do it though, which was more than full vampires. I always figured that it was the lycan in me that wanted me to sleep from time to time but it wasn't necessary, so at least I wasn't some sort of zombie dragging around here everyday. 

       Now I was laying in my bed, staring up at the ceiling after another long day of searching for her. We searched pretty much everywhere but couldn't find anything. We even checked her bank account to see if she bought a plane ticket out of here, but we found nothing. It was crazy, like she just disappeared into thin air. 

        I missed her so much that it was almost a physical pain. Walking around without her. Not seeing her beautiful face every day, not being able to touch her, kiss her, caress her. All of that was foreign to me now. I loathed this empty feeling with a passion. I just wanted it to go away and never come back. 

       Suddenly, my stomach started twisting in pain. It was agonizing and almost unbearable. I had only felt this twice before. When she slept with Damian. Now it was easily ten times worse. 

       Is she having sex with someone wherever she is? With someone who isn't me? Her mate? I thought that she wouldn't be able to do that because she didn't like other men's touch, but this feeling was undeniable. I knew exactly what she was doing at that moment. I thought of how she barely even let us touch her and then another thought occurred to me. What if she was being forced? 

       I quickly ruled out that option. The way she handled Zoey before she left made me sure that she wasn't defenseless anymore. Unless she had silver chains holding her down again, just like last time…     

       This pain made me want to destroy everything I could get my hands on. Another man was touching what was mine, and call me childish, but I didn't like sharing. Not one bit. The pain intensified and I knew what that meant. She was actually enjoying it. That made me hurt a thousand times worse than I already was. 

       This was terrible and I didn't want to feel it anymore. I didn't want to feel anything anymore. The others must have felt my distress because a moment later, they were all in my room, standing around me while Genesis cradled my head in her lap as I writhed in pain.

       +++

      I was a mess. I hadn't shaved, I hadn't eaten, I'd barely spoken to anyone. It's been almost a week since that night in my room and I couldn't shake the feeling that maybe she was having a good time with whoever that was. Maybe she had a good reason. Maybe she needed money or something. She wouldn't hurt me like that, would she?

       I honestly didn't know anymore. Ever since we got her back, she had changed. I didn't know if it was a good or bad thing though. I had no idea what to do without her and it was hard to live like this. 

       I thought about the day after she left, replaying the memory in my head like I had so many times before. 

       "Nicholas, I'm leaving. I can see that I'm obviously not wanted here and you guys are going through a tough time right now, so I'll take my leave. Besides, I have a vampire hybrid to find and kill," Zoey said menacingly. I shot up and stood in front of her.