Finding You.

CHAPTER 6

Lizo takes my house keys from my cup holder and opens the gate, completely ignoring my two Great Dane dogs- Snowy and Coco who are actually excited to see him.

He gets in the car and parks it, as soon as it stops I grab my house keys and my phone from the cup holder tray and head out, with the box of pizza in my arms. I try to open the burglar to the front door but my hands are too full and I drop the keys on the little wet veranda.

He's right behind me as he picks them up and opens the burglar, followed by our big mahogany styled wooden door. I push straight past him before he enters first and drop everything on our pale wooden dinner table that accommodates eight chairs. I turn back to close the door before he comes any further in, but he stops it with his red Chuck Taylor. "Go away Lizo, just go away."

I'm too drunk to face him, it'll get all emotional and I'll seek the comfort of the same man who causes my sorrow. "My mum will be back soon Lizo just go!" I scream as I try to push the door that won't even budge. "You're a fucking bitch Somila, do you know that? You're such a bitch!" he pushes the door with great effort and I fall to the cold tiled floor, wow . . . twice in a night.

"Shit! I'm sorry baby." he says with guilt in his chestnut eyes as he tries to help me up, but I jerk my hand away from him and slowly get up. "Get the fuck away from me and stay the fuck out of my life!" I burst out, not taking my eyes off him.

His eyes change, turning into anger. "You think you can just leave me for a random rich dude who fucked you tonight and bought you a fucking pizza? Who do you think you are? He just used you like a fucking prostitute and here you are thinking you're something special!" He laughs at me. "You actually think someone like that could be with you?

His words cut deep although I already knew I had no chance with a guy like Aya, but it feels like my thoughts have been confirmed. "We can fix this baby, I know we can, I don't love Asiphe and nothing should change between us. I made a mistake okay but I need you to give me a chance to fix it... just think about it okay?"

He must be fucking insane, he cheated on me for over a year, lying to my face, betraying me behind my back, giving her what he promised would be mine and endangering me to sexually transmitted diseases.

"You don't deserve another chance, not from me, not anymore Lizo." My voice breaks. "You took away every shred of trust I had left for you, taking me for granted, treating me like shit and I'm done okay... I'm done for good this time!" Tears well up in my eyes. He looks as if he's about to lunge into me, anger rising by the second, turning to rage.

He steps closer to me so that there's no distance between our bodies, roughly cups my chin with his one hand as he turns my face to look up at him. His long and rough fingers sting on the sides of my jaw as he fiercely says; "Well then if I can't have you, no one will. NO ONE! You better count on that!" and he storms out, banging the door with a huge slam.

                               *****

After having locked up, put on my pyjamas and threw myself onto the spinning bed, my phone vibrates and I can make out an unsaved number through my blurry vision. "Hello?" my slur came out worse than I anticipated. "Somila Klaas, are you okay?" I recognize this voice. "Aya...", my voice comes out as a squeak. "Yep, did you drink some more water?"

His voice sounds like that of a midnight radio host - clear, hushed, and deep in a way that makes you want to fall asleep, but not in a boring way. "I... " my voice trails off as he stops me mid- sentence... well it wasn't even a sentence really. "You're hesitating, please don't lie to me." he pleads with me. "Okay I didn't." I answer honestly, there's something about him that makes me want to be honest with him.