DAMAGED

COURT

Her hand was on my thigh and had been for an hour, our destination was four more hours away maybe five since the bus had decreased speed in the face of all the wind and rain. I sighed and reminded myself that it wasn't on my thigh with intent. Every part of me reasoned that over except one and I ignored the opinion of that part. She was pretty, unconventionally pretty because there was a sharpness to her face even in sleep. Her hair blonde, shot through with a rainbow of random colors. She had not been that pleasant and had definitely not found my joke funny. I loved a girl that didn't groupie up the second our skin made contact. This woman wasn't like the skinny jean clad army of girls who stood by the stage, their faces heart shaped and their intentions obvious. She was more like the girl that hung back on the edge of the crowd, making unbreakable eye contact because she wasn't looking at us but through us while she listened. She also looked like the girl that would break my hand if she saw how close it was to hers. I remembered the tour manager saying this bus was hers. She was kind enough to let us all hitch a ride. I hated coming on a circuit already plagued with problems. I was a fly to the venue kind of guy.

I wanted to nudge her, wake her up. I cannot stand sitting still but walking around the bus during a storm had driven me to sitting, the pitch and sway too much for me. I was bored. I twisted in the seat and plucked idly on the strings of the guitar. I didn't need to rouse the ire of the owner of the only bus that had room for us. I maneuvered the guitar awkwardly until I was able to play it normally. I couldn't ever leave her on the floor for long. The bus at this point was a den of snores and breathing. I couldn't sleep, not with her hand on my thigh. I played with the notes of the song that had infected my dreams. She squirmed next to me and I gripped the neck of the guitar harder and tried to ignore the soft sigh that came out of that fierce exterior. I tried to remember her name but I had been only faintly listening to my brother when he had said it outside. I had only ever been into her genre of music when I was young and ran on angst and rebellion.

The storm didn't let up. I felt ill at ease having a driver that looked a thousand years old and leathered pushing us through it. The song I was shaping quietly seemed to relax her and more of her body pressed into mine, her hand basically caught between us. I waited with breath suspended and then I tried to ease back into the seat. I set the guitar down again and now her hand was trapped between our thighs. If she moved one more time I would drop an arm on her, pretend sleep and escape this torture so she would wake up and predictability move away from my leg. Something stopped me in mid-drop. The moonlight caught on the wetness on her cheek. I put my arm back on the back of the seat and held still. Whatever was happening in her dreams was not good and I was not about to make it worse. The bus jolted and she screamed. Her whole body climbing up mine like she was a monkey I held on to her so she wouldn't tumble over into the aisle.

"Oh fuck, oh god! Is everyone okay?" Her worry crashed down over us like a wave. "Yeah, yeah it's alright. Everyone is fine. It was a pothole or something. Listen to the symphony of snores." I tightened my hand on her hip; her breathing had gone erratic while the color drained out her face. She was just staring at me, her green eyes huge. "Fuck! I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I thought..." She stopped in mid-sentence when it became clear to her that she had her hands on my shoulders and I was gripping her hips. She climbed off me faster than she had climbed on if that was even possible. She was still pale and her hands were trembling but the sharpness was back in her expression. I looked away while she righted the thin white shirt that had twisted up her ribs and pushed her blonde shaggy hair back into whatever order her hair even had. I rested my hand on my guitar while she squirmed in her embarrassment.

"Been in a few wrecks?" I posed the question with a hint of humor but she flashed an expression at me that pulled any hope of a conversation out of reach. She put her head against the glass until eventually her breathing evened out. I glanced at my watch, four hours left. Four hours to pretend that even though she had been in terror I hadn't enjoyed her body pressed into mine. Jesus, all I could think of was sex lately. She wasn't even remotely pleasant but it had been months and it would be a couple of months more. I didn't like groupies and I wasn't a fan of STD's. The desire was to just get there, get off the bus and hole up in a shitty hotel room with crap cable and a pool that could use a repainting. I considered getting up and stretching out. Glancing over the moonlight was in the strands of her hair, streaks of color flashing while the empty fields passed behind her head. Fuck it, she was back asleep and I didn't want my stomach tossed back and forth while we barreled down the highway now that the rain had lessened.

"All I know are wrecks. Bus wrecks and train wreck relationships littering my world." Her voice was quiet but her words held weight. She didn't say it like she wanted to talk but like she was too polite to have left a question hanging unanswered. I stretched my leg out into the aisle and smiled into the shadowed interior of the bus. It was good, the texture of her voice, it was rough and small. I had thought it would be loud. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes again. The bus swayed and rocked continuously. I let my arm fall between our bodies and I fell asleep.

"They look likefucking punk rock Cinderella and her tattooed prince." I heard the words theway you can see the outline of a city in the fog. There was a body drapedacross my legs and it stiffened. I smiled; she wasn't quite the porcupine Iimagined when she was laying in my lap. I glared up at Casey. He raised hiseyebrows at me and shook his head before continuing down the aisle. We werehere. I held still as she disengaged herself from around my body and wished Ihad stayed awake for when she had wrapped herself around me. Patiently I waitedfor her to say something but she just ground her fists into her eyes andblinked at me like an owl. I stood up with my guitar and finally shook the claustrophobiaof the bus off.