DAMAGED

COURT

The walking was a mistake. I was dripping sweat and trailing obscenities for the last mile until I saw the beginnings of the city. The buildings were more reminiscent of a small town with the scattering of abandoned storefronts but the people moved through the streets as they would a metropolis. There was a Starbucks so it must be a real city. I was weary of small towns or cities, a strange fear leftover from boyhood that made me feel like a demonic clown would reach up from the storm drains and rip the life out of me. Watching movies set in small towns caused the hairs on my arms to rise. The way I saw it every sweet old lady was toting poison and every little kid with hollow eyes and holding a foil balloon would be seen later with the balloon drifting in the air over his dead body. I followed the street signs until the last one was for the freeway. My arm felt like dead weight in the weather but I held my thumb out anyways. All I needed was one car to stop and I could quit chafing.

I walked at least another half a mile before I saw a car slowing down. It pulled in within an inch or two of my leg. The window rolled down and it was cold air and blonde hair leaning into the overly bright day.

"Do you need a ride?" She sounded like music as she leaned out the window, her hair brushing the side of the door. I used the pure symmetry of her features to blur the fierce glare of Kat from my mind. I smiled and nodded, she responded by pulling her long body back in and gesturing for me to come around. I could pretend that I didn't want to sit beside her but I did and I didn't have to pretend with her. Her car was cramped but the smell of the cheap spice air freshener and her sunscreen made me feel dizzy and too big for the small space.

"I'm Maron. Where to?" It was the musicality that eased my body into calm, the way her lips were bright red and she wrinkled her nose at my sweaty smell.

"I'm Court." I held my hand out to her. She awkwardly accepted it over her steering wheel, the car gliding back and forth within the lane.

She laughed, "Is Court your real name?" I liked the sound of her laugh, it made me think of lazy Sundays and wind chimes.

"It is. God given. I need to go to the Wandering Rebels Fest, it's a few miles up the road. I left my wallet in the hotel room so no cab money. Thanks for picking me up." She pushed the hair behind her ear and smiled over at me. It was a great fucking smile. I could forget mean angry girls like Kat and a wife that had not loved me enough to stay married to me when I watched her lips turn up. If I tried hard enough to believe it I could forget the very bullshit I was feeding myself right now.

"What? Do I have something on my face?" She put her hand self-consciously to her mouth, she smeared the red at the corner and I fought the urge to wipe at it with my thumb or put my mouth against hers. This is what happened when I tried to pretend to be anyone I wasn't, I naturally began to unravel.

"No. Sorry if I was staring. I was lost in thought. Are you going to the festival?" I tried to imbue my tone with interest.

"I can't. I have summer semester finals today. I'm more of a country music girl anyway." She swept her hand to the backseat to indicate the books spread out across the seats. "I heard there was going to be a big punk show but I don't really know much of that scene. I have too much studying anyways." There was that smile but the radiance was dimming with my self-awareness. She was just a nice girl who gave a not so nice guy a ride.

"What are you majoring in?" I could see the silhouettes of the buses and stages rising out of the glare on the asphalt.

"Nursing. All the women in my family have been in the medical field so it just felt right ya know? It's like having three mentors to help me along the way. Do you live around here?" There was a spike in her tone that was like reading a seismograph of interest.