if without you || seongjoong

you became the bright light

the sound of the empty bottle clashed with the floor was heard.

seonghwa let the bottle rolled from his hand, leaning to the couch on the floor pathetically.

that was the second bottle. he tried to stand on his heels, wanting to grab a snack from the refrigerator.

since when did the earth spin roughly? why did everything around him looked blurry? had seonghwa lost his sight?

you really are blind, aren't you?

and then the pain came back, slashing seonghwa's heart angrily.

it clenched around his heart, seonghwa grabbed his own chest thinking about how to stop the feeling-

he tilted his heels to take more soju from the store room, sloppily taking the cap off with his bare hands.

the pain rised when he felt his skin was teared open by the sharp edges of the cap, making him rushed himself as he drank the alcohol.

it was bitter and not comforting at all, but at least he had some companies in this silent room.

plus, these were good to stop the throbbing pain in seonghwa's heart and mind, another tipping point for them.

he walked back to the couch, with two unopened bottles in his right hand, the other hand held the opened ones.

he sat there, eyes staring blank to the dead tv. his eyes moved to the left, as if they wanted seonghwa to suffer more. they stopped the stare at his one and only photo frame.

hongjoong and him on jeju island.

the pain rised again and seonghwa immediately drowned it away with the alcohol.

tears running down his face again, they were boiling.

he stared and stared as if he could do something by staring like a madman.

he took another gulp and another and another, until his mouth went numb. so numb, that it couldn't differentiate the taste of the alcohol and his tears.

he took another gulp, hongjoong's smile on the picture was getting warmer.

seonghwa remembered how hongjoong scolded him by drinking a whole bottle of soju once.

seonghwa remembered how hongjoong massaged his back after he threw up on the toilet.

seonghwa remembered how hongjoong woke up before him and prepared him a hangover soup.

those dark days before seonghwa's acceptance to the club.

those dark days when the shareholders of the company threaten seonghwa that they will terminate his contract, if he didn't got into any prestigious club.

seonghwa took another gulp and then close his eyes.

honestly, seonghwa wanted to go to sleep, maybe hongjoong will come to him.

either in his dreams or reality.

***

seonghwa woke up because of the loud bang on his door.

hongjoong?

he rushed from the couch, even if he felt his head was going to explode and the earth felt like it went upside down, he tried to run steadily.

he didn't mind if hongjoong scold him mercilessly for drinking,

he didn't mind if hongjoong mocked him because of this,