if without you || seongjoong

our flowers started to bloom again

"where is he? is he okay?" wooyoung asked san right after he met his eyes from the gap around the door.

"he is in his bedroom. i don't know, he didn't talk since we got back, i–" san replied, the hands that were brushing his hair frustrated.

wooyoung entered hongjoong's property as san moved a bit from the doorway. the door closed as san leaned back to it.

"i should've accompanied him," san admitted lowly.

"you didn't see it coming, stop blaming yourself," wooyoung turned to face him.

the younger pulled san to his arms, warming him up from the tense he had just passed.

"it's okay, san. let's focus on hyung first, shall we?" he said comfortingly as san leaned against him.

the older nodded and hugged his lover back, the weight on his shoulder was lifted.

"how's mingi?" wooyoung asked as they parted away, but staying close to each other.

"he felt bad. he drove us back to here, apologizing for numerous times. but hyung didn't even glance at him," san confessed, voice filled with concern.

"i told him to give hyung some time," san added.

the younger nodded and he pat his lover's back. "it's gonna be fine,"

it wasn't just a mere comforting words. it was also a prayer.

to whatever gods up there, to the universe, to the mythical powers–whatsoever. just someone or something that could grant his wish to.

they walked to the dining table, preparing the food that wooyoung bought on the way.

"did yeosang know about this?" wooyoung asked as he laid out some plates.

"i had told him the background but he's still busy. he said he was helping his boyfriend in daegu, something really important i guess, he said he'll call us later," san explained, hands busy untying the plastics.

after everything was settled, san went off to call hongjoong, for him to eat something.

it was barely a knock, maybe a tap, san pressed his fingers to hongjoong's door.

"hyung?" he said softly.

no response.

"let's eat," he tried again.

still no response.

"hyung, are you sleeping?"

no response, but when san glanced back, wooyoung's facial expression urged him to check hongjoong's condition, just to be sure.

"hyung, i'm going to open the door, kay?" san said as he creaked the door open.

san remembered how he asked hongjoong what did the older wanna do right after they entered his apartment.

san remembered how hongjoong didn't respond him when he asked hongjoong whether or not he wanted to sleep.

san remembered how he brought hongjoong to the bed, tucking the warm blanket around him.

he vividly remembered that hongjoong was lying onto the mattress.

but now hongjoong was sitting on the mattress, back pathetically leaned onto the headboard.

hongjoong was still crying but also dead silent. the tears were just dripping as his gaze met the wall across the room.

"hyung," san pleaded as he brushed hongjoong's tear slowly with his hand.