serendipity { fillie }

chapter thirteen

I open my door and walk in. It's one day after the whole incident with Finn. I just finished a day of school and thanked god i didn't have English class so I could avoid talking to Finn.

I took off my shoes and walked upstairs. Once I reached my room I opened the door and threw my bag on my bed. I walked over to my desk and got to drawing. I was drawing on a campus- well sketching actually. I was drawing a face so I could paint it later.

After I finished sketching I walked over to my bed and lay down. My mind wonders off to Finn. To be honest, I get so sick of yelling at him and fighting with him, but I still do it anyway. I don't know why either. I don't understand his mood swings and anger.

Did I do something he could be mad about? I think to myself. No, not a chance  I remind myself. I have been nothing but nice and kind to him, and he still hates me. Well one moment he hates me and the other moment he's like... into me? No, no guy could ever be interested in me like that.

He always leaves me so confused and sad, but I seem to forget that whenever him lips touch mine. Well, we only kissed once, but I just can't seem to get it out of my head. His lips on mine gave me a feeling I've never felt before. Like, I felt butterflies or something.

I twist in the bed so I'm laying on my side, facing my wall. I sigh. Does he even like me at all? I think to myself. Like, talking to me. Who am I kidding, of course he doesn't. I'm the biggest geek ever. My hobbies are reading, writing, drawing and painting. While other teenagers their hobbies are going to parties, drinking and having sex.

I'm probably the only virgin at my school. Well, from my age of course. Sadie told me she lost her virginity at a party when she was sixteen. She doesn't even remember who it was with. She isn't a slut or anything don't get me wrong, but I don't understand how you could give up something so important that fast.

My nickname at my old school was prude. Honestly, I didn't have a lot of friends at my old school -non to be exact- but I kind of worked with what I had and made myself happy. Whenever someone was making a comment about me in class they would always make sure to add the stinking nickname that is prude.

I'm not a prude. Well, I've never done anything, if you know what I mean. Finn was my first kiss after all. All the things I hear about sex and stuff just kind of scares me. Not only does it scare me, but it worries me. Like, will it hurt? What should you do and shouldn't you do? What are you even supposed to do in the first place? I have so many questions, it honestly makes me feel stupid.

I shake away all my thoughts and decide to take a nap since I barely slept last night thanks to Finn. I let out a sigh and take off my clothes. I put on my pyjama's and lay back into my bed.

                                    _

"Mornin'" my sister says with her mouth full of pancakes. I laugh at her appearance. "Good morning Sophs" I say back. I look around around the kitchen. "Did dad leave already?" I asks. Sophie just simply nods her head.

I take a seat at the table across from Sophie and eat my pancakes. "Who's house did you go to after school?" Sophie asks out of the blue. I choke a little on my food as I stare at her with an shocked expression. "Oh and don't give me the 'just a friend's house' because we both know that's not true" she says smart.

"W-What do you mean?" I ask nervously. She sighs. "Are you or are you not secretly dating a guy?" She asks like it means nothing. "Sophie! You're eleven! You shouldn't be asking me this in the first place and not everything is like a movie, so no I'm not 'secretly' dating a guy" I say.

"Okay okay, no need to get so defensive" she laughs. I turn red and stare at my food. "It would be nice ya know" she says. I look at her with an confused expression. "What do you mean?" I ask. "You getting a boyfriend, I mean you're pretty old after all" she says. I stare at her shocked. "I'm not old! And you are eleven! Eat your food and play with barbies, stop worrying about my love life" I say.

"Fine" she sighs but doesn't hesitate to laugh. I glare at her. "What now?" I ask. "Nothing, nothing. It's just that you're a really bad liar" she says laughing a little. "Huh?" I mutter out. "I heard you calling a few weeks ago, you named some guy named Finn" she begins. I stare at her and say nothing, signaling her to continue. Would she really know all that happened? No, she couldn't.

"So, I payed more attention to what you were doing, where you were going and stuff" she says casually before she takes a big bite of her pancake. I stare at her shocked, not knowing what to say. "I noticed that you went to someone's house after school almost every week, that you were on a date a week or so ago and that you stayed at someone's house in the night" she says empathizing the word night.

"The only explanation for that is that you're dating someone" she shrugs. I can't help but laugh a little. That little prick. "So you're stalking me now?" I ask. "Nope, just paying attention" she simply answers. I get up and walk over to the kitchen. I put my dishes into the sink. Dating Finn crosses my mind. I shake my thoughts off immediately. Finn doesn't like me that way. Not that he likes me in any way but still.

He did tell me when we were at the restaurant that he didn't date. Why doesn't he? I mean, it's not surprising since he is- well he's Finn, I think that says enough. But, has he been hurt before? Like, by a girl or something?

I clear my head and walk upstairs. I open my closet and put on my outfit for today. I wore a jean skirt that stopped mid thigh and a light pink tee. I grab my backpack and walk downstairs.

"Soph I'm gonna go, do you need a drive?" I ask Sophie. She nods her head and puts on her shoes. Her school was really close to mine so it wouldn't take me much time to drop her off. She normally goes on her bike but since I was ten minutes earlier than normal I thought it would be nice to offer her a ride.

I normally go to school 30 minutes early. Honestly, it calms me down when I'm obnoxiously early for things. "Okay, let's go" Sophie says, snapping me out of my thoughts. She walks over to the door and walks out. I immediately follow her and unlock my car.

I sit in the drivers seat and buckle my seatbelt. "So, will I be needing a helmet this time?" She asks sarcastically. "Haha" I say sarcastically. "What? You're a really bad driver!" She protests. I sigh. "If you have problems with my driving skills, please exit" I say. "Sorry" She says laughing sarcastically.

I drive to her school and drop her off. "Bye Sophs!" I say as I give her a friendly wave. "Bye Minny!" She says as she hops out of my car. Minny is a nickname my family calls me- well used to call me. Ever since my mom died my father doesn't call me that anymore. It's like everything changed since my mom died. I loved her so much. I remember almost everything that I experienced with my mother.

My first period, first crush, buying bra's, you know women stuff. My heart feels heavy whenever I think about the fact that Sophie will never get to experience that with my mom. I thank that Sophie was old enough to remember her but still. Your mother dying is like taking a part of you away.

I shrug my thoughts away and I drive off to my school. On the way I listen to Uptown Girl by Billy Joel. Honestly, I love 80s music. I wouldn't say I'm born in the wrong century, but like actually I genuinely would never say that. I think that everyone is just meant to be in the time they're currently living in.

Once arrived at school I parked my car in the parking lot and got out. There was barely anyone there since it was so early. I walked to the door anyway and made my way in. I said hello to some teachers I ran into and took a seat in the cafeteria. I got out my book and started reading. I was currently reading Five Feet Apart by Racheal Lippincott.

My reading was soon interrupted my a cough next to me.