My Demons

Chapter 1: Remember Everything

Chapter 1: Remember Everything

            I woke up from my reoccurring nightmare drenched in sweat. My heart was pounding even as the adrenaline left my body. It took several minutes for my breathing to even out. The images in my head were still so vivid, even though the dream was over.

            It was 10 years ago. Why can’t I forget?

            It’s all over. It’s in the past. Nothing can change what has happened. It’s time to move forward. I’ve learned from this and it has made me a better person. I have to forget.

            I knew I had to get my mind off the nightmare, so I imagined myself with the love of my life, Takahashi Takahiro. I imagined us walking hand in hand down the street. His hand was warm and he had the biggest smile on his face. I turned to him to tell him that I love him.

            Suddenly, the scene changed, drastically. We were in bed, making love. He was lying below me, looking up into my eyes. His own eyes were full of lust and passion. The picture of us making love felt so real that I was getting hard.

            Dream Takahiro arched his back in pleasure. “I love you, Usagi,” he moaned, using my nickname he has given me years ago.

            The image shattered after that, as it normally does whenever I daydream about him. I’m still not sure why I can’t imagine anything past his confession to me. Maybe the reasonable part of my mind shuts the whole thing down because it knows that it will never happen.

            At least my mind is no longer on the past.

            I got out of bed and took a quick, cold shower. I changed into a light gray suit and black tie with bears on it. My entire wardrobe consists of suits and ties. I have to look nice for the public, mostly because my editor would kill me if I looked bad. I also enjoy living a sophisticated and wealthy lifestyle. It’s what I grew up with.

            I am the youngest heir to the Usami cooperation. My whole family is rich. I grew up in England until I was 10. I then lived in a mansion in rural Japan with my mother, father, and older half-brother. Of course, various maids and butlers also lived with us. I never bothered to learn their names, except for Tanaka-san. He was a nice guy who left me alone.

            Because of coming from such a wealthy family I never really got to live a normal childhood with toys and playing with other children. So I started collecting when I moved out on my own at age 18. I have hundreds of stuffed bears. Bears are my favorite animal: strong and menacing, yet cute and fluffy. I also like stuffed rabbits (hence Takahiro’s nickname for me) and toy trains. My penthouse looks refined, but there are several rooms devoted to toys and other childish things that my family never gave me.

            I have never gotten along with my family. My mother ignored me, my brother (who wasn’t her son), and my father. She loved living the lifestyle of the rich and the famous. She’s the one who made us all live in England when she married my father. She caused all the trouble, I guess you could say. My father brought me and my brother back to Japan once they got a divorce, but all he talked about was me helping take over the company with my brother one day.

            And my brother… I don’t even want to think about him today.

            Anyways, my biggest passion has always been writing. My senpai in England was always reading. I wanted to be just like him, so I would read all the time as well. I began creating my own stories as soon as I could write. Senpai told me I had a gift for writing, so I kept doing it.