My Demons

Chapter Two

Chapter 2

            I pulled my shiny red sports car into the parking lot of the apartment complex where Takahiro and his brother lived. I had agreed to help the high school kid pass his college entrance exams, but I had never met him before. It just made sense to me to meet with him before I actually started to tutor him.

            And, yes… I wanted to see Takahiro as well.

            Honestly, I wasn’t at all happy about tutoring his kid brother. The way Takahiro looked when he begged me and how he happy when he was when I agreed to do it almost made it all worth it. Almost… I should have told him that he’d have to go out on a date with him as payment rather than asking him for homemade soup.

            Unfortunately, Takahiro is straight. He even has a girlfriend. As much as it hurts me, I know that he’s very happy with her. He doesn’t talk about her very often, but when he does, his dull eyes light up brighter than the sun. He smiles more genuinely and he laughs more as he does so. They’ve been together for quite a while now. I wonder if he thinks of her as The One.

            At that thought, I cringed and finally got out of the car. I just wanted to see Takahiro. That would take my mind off his girlfriend. I just had this hunch that he wouldn’t bring her up today. Today was set aside for his brother. His brother was definitely more important than his girlfriend.

            I walked up the stairs and down the hall to their apartment. I didn’t bother knocking on the door. I went right inside and made my way into the den. Takahiro was sitting on the couch reading a book. He looked up at me and smiled. It wasn’t the same smile he had on whenever he talked about his girlfriend. It kind of broke my heart…

            “Hello, Usagi! Good to see you.” He patted the spot next to him, offering me the seat. “Misaki isn’t home just yet, but he should be soon.”

            “Oh, I’m sorry, did I arrive too early?” I feigned ignorance. I came early on purpose. I wanted to spend some time alone with Takahiro. I would get enough time with his little brother later.

            “It’s quite alright! You’re welcome in my home anytime!”

            He smiled at me again. Still, the smile was not as beautiful as it was when he spoke of his girlfriend. My heart dropped into my stomach. I felt defeated. I hope he couldn’t see the disappointment on my face. How would I explain to him that I was in love with him? He would never want to talk to me again. He is not interested in me.

            Still… I can’t just leave my love for him behind. Giving up on loving Takahiro would be like giving up a part of my own identity. Not having him as my friend would kill me inside. I’ve been in love with him for 10 years now. He’s my best friend. In fact, I’d say that he’s closer to me than my childhood friend Kamijou Hiroki.

            Takahiro placed his book down on the coffee table in front of the couch and turned to give me his full attention. “So, Usagi, anything new in your life? Do you have a girlfriend yet?”

            I almost rolled my eyes at him. “Takahiro, you know that I don’t live that way.”

            He chuckled. “Yes, I know. Usagi the Loner.”

            I nodded and laughed with him. There was no way I was going to tell him that I was gay. That would completely change the way he looked at me. He might even stop being friends with me forever if he found that out. And God forbid he ever found out that I was in love with him of all people. That’s one sure way to lose a friend.