My Demons

Chapter Twenty-Three

Chapter 23

            My brother would constantly take things from me when we were younger. Toys, books, my notebooks with stories in them, my friends, you name it. He was incredibly jealous that our father chose my mother over his mother. He hated sharing the affection of our father with another child. As a way of lashing out, he stole my personal belongings. He tried to turn my own friends against me. I didn’t have many friends, so it turned out to be pretty pointless, but he still tried...

            Even with Ryuto… Come to think of it: that was probably the catalyst for what happened 11 years ago.

            I’m not sure what my brother’s sexual orientation is, but if he had known about Takahiro he would have tried to steal him away too. If I had to guess, I would assume that Isaka-san told him about Misaki being my lover and now he wanted to take him from me.

            How disgusting. What kind of human being is this guy? Why do I have to be related to him?

            I watched as Misaki thanked the room service lady and closed the door. He turned around and started walking away, with the bouquet of flowers still in hand. As if I wasn’t irritated enough already, he was going to make me mad too.

            “Hurry up and return those flowers,” I demanded. Giving them back was probably the best way to let my brother know that he wasn’t interested in him.

            “Eh? But the person himself was already left.”

            “If that’s the case then throw them out.”

            “What? But that’s impolite.”

            Jealousy began to boil up inside of me. Why in the world would Misaki accept flowers from somebody else? Especially my brother, whom he didn’t seem too fond of. The kid always refused stuff from me, and I’m his lover! In fact…

            I crossed my arms and glared at him. “So you can receive flowers from a man, but you can’t receive clothes from me?”

            He immediately became flustered. “Um, uh, Usagi-san, that’s going a bit too far! I don’t have anywhere to wear the clothes that you gave me!”

            I could tell that he realized his error and was trying to ignore it. Honestly, it would have been better if he had just apologized and said he was going to make it right. However, Misaki could sometimes be quite stubborn, especially when he’s trying to please people.

            The anger inside of me was about to burst. I didn’t want to take anything out of him, so I turned around to leave. I gave him the excuse that I was going out to buy more cigarettes. In reality, I probably would too. Right then, I just had to leave the area and go drive to let out some steam.

            As I drove to the tobacco store, all I could think about was Misaki leaving me for Haruhiko. Deep down, I knew it was so unlikely, but I still felt anxious about it. If that were to happen, I don’t know what I would do. Also just as bad, if he got too close to my brother, he would definitely find out about my past and all the demons I have locked away.

            Would Misaki be able to forgive me for what I’ve done?

            I’ve asked myself this question a million times now, and I never seem to come up with a straight-forward answer. I’m too scared to find out the truth. The consequences may be too much for me to handle.

            But then… it’s just like Haruhiko said. I’m just turning away from reality.

            When I finally reached the store, I had come to a conclusion. I would tell Misaki one day. One day… but probably not anytime soon. It will take a lot of courage and preparation before I can tell him my side of the story. Hopefully, he doesn’t hear it from my brother before then.