They would yell, they would scream, they were fighting it out
The fault, the blame, the pain’s still there
Calum was tempted to go to Anne-Marie’s house to see Michael but honestly, he just wanted to be alone. He felt like he just needed to sit in the middle of his bed and let all his emotions out.
And that’s exactly what he did.
For hours, and maybe days, Calum sat on his bed, staring out his window. He was wrapped up in the fluffiest blanket he could find, part of it draped over his head. His knees were tucked up to his chest and his arms rest on top. His eyes ached from how much he had cried and how long he’d stared pointlessly at the window. His neck also had a dull ache from how long he’d kept in the same position. His entire body was drenched his sweat but his mouth was so dry.
In short, he was broken.
Calum’s phone buzzed for what felt like the millionth time since he’d been wrapped up in the same spot. Temptation overwhelmed him and he slowly reached over to grab his phone, grunting slightly at his aching muscles.
Calum winced at the bright light, quick to turn down his brightness. He groaned noticing the date. He’d left the hospital just under a week ago and stayed in the same spot since then. Calum groaned again when his stomach flipped and growled at the same time. He hadn’t realised how hungry he was and now, he felt like he was going to be sick.
Calum simply shook his head to shake away the thought and focused his attention back on his phone. He had 117 missed texts and 56 missed calls. Majority were from Ashton, a few from Anne-Marie and other notifications from games telling him to collect coins.
Calum opened his text chain with Ashton and quickly skimmed through, only really paying attention to a few messages.
Ashton: Calum come back
Ashton: She didn’t mean it
Ashton: None of this was your fault
Ashton: Please
Ashton: You haven’t replied in days. Are you alright?
Ashton: Call me
Ashton: Okay now I’m worried you’re dead
Ashton: Calum answer
Ashton: Cal I can’t leave
Ashton: I sent my mum over to check on you but the door was locked and you didn’t answer
Ashton: Baby where are you?
Ashton: Baby answer please
Ashton: Fuck. It’s been 6 days. Please
Calum blinked back tears. He couldn’t believe he’d spent six whole days in a trance. He noticed that last message was sent about five minutes ago, so chances were he still had his phone in hand.
Calum was right. Moments later, his phone lit up with another message.
Ashton: Baby please answer I’m so scared
The screen lit up with another call and Calum hesitated before swiping to answer.
“Hello?” Calum spoke hoarsely.
“Calum! Oh my god!” Ashton gasped. It sounded like he’d spent hours crying. Well, probably still. “I can’t believe you answered. I was so scared.”
Calum stayed silent.
“Cal- Are you still there? Are you alright?”
“How’s Joy?”
“She’s... She’s as good as she can be.” Ashton breathed shakily. “Where are you?”
“I’m at home.”
“Can you come back down? Joy’s-”
“Ashton no. She doesn’t want me there. It’ll make her more comfortable if I stay away.”
Calum hears Ashton sigh loudly on the other side of the line.
“Can you at least go check on Mikey? He’s spent a week at my mum’s and I don’t think he knows what’s going on.”
“No. I’m sure he’s fine there.”
“Calum.”
“He’s fine.”
“Calum just-”
“Bye Ash.”
Calum took his phone away from his ear to hang up when he heard Ashton explode from the other end.
“Calum what’s wrong with you?! You can’t shut everyone out because one thing happened to you! Either you get your ass down and pick up Michael, or you fucking come here to support your daughter through her first session of chemo tomorrow!” Ashton yelled.
“She doesn’t want me there.” Calum stated.
“Calum for fuck’s sake I swear to god- WHO CARES? It’s what a fucking father does! Supports their children through thick and thin, rough and good! What kind of father are you if you don’t know that?”
Calum felt his breath hitch at those words. Perhaps he is a bad father after all.
“Calum don’t ignore me.” Ashton spat. “Tell me what you’re going to do.”
Calum stayed silent, his mind had floated off somewhere in the distance showing examples of when he’d been a bad father and a bad husband.
“Calum!”
Calum blinked. His mind had zoomed back into reality and he focused on the call once again.
“Mm?”
“Fuck you. You know what? Just stay home. Fucking don’t come back here.”
Ashton then hung up and Calum was left feeling numb again. All he wanted to do was go back and support Joy but his mind, gut and Joy herself was pulling him back. The voice in his head was taunting him; telling him to run into the bathroom and either slice his wrist until he passed out or keep running and jump out the window. Falling from a two story window might not kill him, but it certainly injure to keep him in pain for long enough.
Oh how he was tempted. Oh how he just wanted to give in and do what the voice was beckoning him to do. Every time, he pulled himself back. It just wasn’t who he was. He was the person who always helped Ashton through his depression. He’d first hand seen the damage it does to a person and the people around him. He didn’t want to hurt other people. It was selfish.
YOU ARE READING
Te Extraño
Fanfiction"Te extraño" means "I miss you". It's used in cases of very deep, missing, for example: the missing of family and friends you see in sad movies. "extraño" - to miss. " Te" is direct object pronoun meaning"you".
