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9~ Voodoo Doll

Tell me where you're hiding your voodoo doll
'Cause I can't control myself
I don't wanna stay, I wanna run away
But I'm trapped under your spell
And it hurts in my head and my heart and my chest
And I'm having trouble catching my breath

"Look what you've done to her."

Tears filled Calum's eyes as he watched Ashton help their daughter through yet another coughing fit. She'd been home for a month and he still simply couldn't believe that there was nothing the doctors could do to save her.

It's too late. They said. I'm sorry. They said.

"This is all your fault."

Calum stood up slowly, without catching the attention of Michael, Ashton or Joy.

"She'll never graduate primary school."

Calum bit his tongue tightly, holding back the sob that wanted to escapes his throat.

"She'll never go to high school."

Calum dug his fingernails into his palms, trying to push his negative thoughts running through his mind.

"She'll never graduate high school. Or university."

Calum bit his tongue tighter as his legs automatically propelled Calum upstairs, taking two steps at a time.

"She'll never meet anyone."

Calum flopped on his bed, letting out a choked sob as he let his thoughts free.

"She'll never get married or have kids."

Calum sobbed louder, his body wracking with every tear that flew down his face.

"Because of you."

Calum sniffled and sat up. He slowly trudged towards the bathroom before reaching up and grabbing a chapstick container on the highest shelf.

"Because of you, Joy is going to be ripped from this world in less than a few months."

Tears continued to fall down Calum's face as he pulled the cap off of the container, emptying it's contents in the palm of his hand. What fell out, was around five small razors, slightly rusted.

Calum dragged one across their handtowel to test it's sharpness, smiling in satisfaction when it easily sliced through the fabric.

"Perfect." Calum and the voice in his head whispered at the same time.

"It should've been you, not her. You passed the gene onto her. It should be you with cancer, not her."

Calum's shaky hands quickly pulled up his sleeve, exposing his tan forearm. He couldn't believe he was about to do this.

"You deserve it."

Calum bit his lip before sitting down on the floor against the bath. He took a deep breath before digging the edge of the razor into his wrist, gasping softly in pain.

"Deeper. You practically killed your own daughter."

Calum clenched his jaw as he dug the edge of the razor into his wrist a few millimetres deeper.

"What are you, stupid? Drag it. Keep it deep. Cause yourself the most pain possible."

Calum's smart sense was screaming at him to stop but his hand moved of its own accord, dragging the razor across the entire width of his wrist, beads of blood forming in its wake. He quickly shoved part of the handtowel in his mouth to stop himself from screaming out in pain.