Te Extraño

7~ Youngblood

Say you want me, say you want me back in your life

Calum was just finishing his cup of coffee when he got a call from Ashton. Of course, he was hesitant to answer as he thought he’d get another scolding. The look he got from Anne-Marie, however, told him he needed to answer. Sighing, he picked up his phone and answered the call.

“Hi.” Calum mumbled.

“Cal?” Ashton asked. “Where are you?”

“I’m at your mum’s house. Because I can drag my ass out of bed. Sorry you doubted me.” Calum snapped.

Ashton was silent for a moment before he sighed.

“Joy wants you here.”

“No she doesn’t. Stop trying to get me down there. She doesn’t want me there.”

“Calum, she does! She’s about to get her chemo and she wants her father here.”

Calum sighs and rubs his forehead.

“Fine. I’ll be down in ten.”

With that, he hung up and told Anne-Marie what was happening. She offered to drop him off and to which, he gladly accepted. Michael came along too, being too young to stay home on his own.

“Daddy, can I come see Joy too? I miss her!” Michael begged from the backseat.

“Alright, but not for long.” Calum replied.

Michael grinned widely and stared out the window.

Anne-Marie glanced at Calum with a smile from the driver’s seat.

“Look, look how happy you’ve made him.” She whispered.

Calum let a small smile spread across his face for a moment before he zoned out once again. In all honesty, he was really scared. He really wanted to be there for his daughter but he was also so scared to see her getting chemo. It’d break his heart, seeing her in so much pain, throwing up left and right, having trouble breathing constantly and so much more.

“Calum, Calum we’re here.” Anne-Marie muttered, shaking his shoulder.

“Oh,” was all Calum replied with, getting out the car and taking Michael’s hand.

“Daddy, is Joy okay?” Michael whispered.

“She’ll be okay. I’ll explain later, bud.” Calum smiled softly, giving Michael’s hand a small squeeze.

Michael nodded softly and squeezed his hand back.

The three took the lift up to Joy’s room, Calum leading the way since he’d been there before.

“Daddy!” Joy cried, as soon as Calum opened the door.

“Hey baby,” Calum mumbled, quick to pull the youngest in for a tight hug.

“I missed you,” Joy mumbled. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. I’m just glad I came back.”

Joy smiled and brought herself closer to Calum, simply trying to stay in the moment.

Unfortunately, the moment ended when Calum pulled away and held her chin gently.

“You look so much like her,” he whispered, before kissing her on the forehead, earning a smile from Joy in return.

Dr Palt cleared his throat from the corner of the room.

“Sorry to interrupt, but we need to keep to a strict schedule.”

Calum nodded and stood by Anne-Marie, purposely avoiding Ashton. Michael climbed on a chair and held Joy’s hand. Ashton gently rubbed her other hand and kissed the top of her head.

Dr Palt got hold of Joy’s arm (the one Michael was previously holding) and carefully felt around for the right vein.

“Alright, you’re gonna feel a slight pinch but then it’ll be over, okay? Dr Palt whispered.

Joy nodded softly and squeezed Ashton’s hand tightly. Dr Palt counted down from three and inserted the needle, making Joy whimper and writhe around at the unfamiliar feeling. Ashton was quick to calm her down by whispering comforting words in her ear and stroking his fingers through her hair.

“All done,” Dr Palt smiled, taping down the needle on Joy’s arm with medical tape.

The effects of the chemo didn’t take long to kick in and within a few minutes, Joy was already feeling drowsy. Dr Palt left, telling Joy to rest and that he’d be back in a few hours to remove the iv.

“Daddy, I’m tired.” Joy mumbled.

“Go to sleep, honey. Don’t worry.” Ashton smiled, kissing Joy’s hand.

Joy smiled and closed her eyes, quick to fall into a deep sleep.

Once Joy had fallen asleep, Ashton stood up and whispered something into his mum’s ear that Calum couldn’t understand.

“Be careful with him. He’s developing depression.” Anne-Marie whispered back, barely loud enough for Calum to hear, but he did.

Anne-Marie smiled at Michael before taking his hand and walking him out of the room.

Calum quickly realised he and Ashton were the only conscious ones in the room and he began to panic, knowing there was a scolding to come.

“Cal,” Ashton began.

“Look, Ash, I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I didn’t even realise it’d been so long- I didn’t mean to, I-”

Ashton cut Calum off quickly with a warm hug. It was a classic Ashton hug. One, that no matter the mood you were in, it’d make you feel safe and loved. One that’d tell you everything is okay- you’re forgiven. One that Calum was just used to.

Calum didn’t hesitate to hug back, letting all his sadness and other negative emotions dissipate temporarily in Ashton’s arms.

“I love you,” Ashton whispered. “I’m so sorry I yelled at you. I know what you’re going through.”

Calum whimpered slightly and pulled himself closer to Ashton, feeling his nose sting and his eyes water. Ashton noticed. He knew Calum all too well.

“It’s okay to cry. Let it all out. Rant. Hit me if you need to. Anything you need.” Ashton whispered, rubbing Calum’s back.

Calum tightly grabbed Ashton’s shirt and cried into his chest, honestly not caring he was soaking his shirt.

“They’re gone. They’re all gone.” Calum mumbled. “Mum, dad, Mali’s still in London. They’re gone.”

Ashton pulled Calum as close as they could get, staying silent and letting himself be Calum’s emotional crutch.

“I still gave this to Joy. It should’ve been me with this- she’s too young.”

“Are you saying since you’re older, your life doesn’t matter as much?”

“No, I’m just- It was supposed to be me anyway. I passed it onto her. She doesn’t deserve it.”

Ashton sighed and rest his chin on Calum’s shoulder. He knew he couldn’t change Calum’s mind in that moment.

“I’m sorry for yelling at you, Ash. I know what you went through- It must’ve been horrible- I was only there for the aftermath. Seeing him get- Get- I miss him too.”

Ashton too felt tears prickle in his eyes. He still missed Michael greatly and it still sent a pain to his chest every time he was reminded of what Luke had done.

Calum sniffed and pulled away.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered.

“Don’t apologise. You helped me for years as a kid and I now need to return the favour. I promise I will never leave your side for as long as I live. I love you so much.” Ashton smiled.

“I love you more.” Calum smiled.

Ashton leant in and the two shared a long kiss that seemed to last a lifetime, but only lasted a few minutes before both boys ran out of breath.

Calum giggled and held Ashton’s hand. It was great to forget about all his negative emotions and just be with Ashton in that moment.