Te Extraño

8~ Fly Away

A never ending replay
With memories I can't erase

Joy had been receiving chemotherapy for just under four months and it was time for her monthly check up once again. She didn’t need to go anywhere since she, Calum and Ashton hadn’t even left the hospital since she started. Michael had stayed with Anne-Marie the entire time, coming in every week with new items for Calum and Michael and to see his sister.

Joy wasn’t doing so well. She was weak and could barely keep her eyes open for longer than a few hours before falling asleep. The majority of her hair had fallen out in the first month, the rest falling out later. At first, Joy was a sobbing mess but she when she wore beanies she seemed to calm down.

Joy was also still complaining about a sore chest, which Dr Palt swore was normal with someone with lung cancer but Calum couldn’t seem to shake an uneasy feeling in his chest.

“I’m telling you Cal, it’s all fine. She has lung cancer, of course she's gonna be in pain.” Ashton spoke calmly.

“I know but shouldn’t the chemo be helping that? It’s only seemed to get worse these past few months.” Calum mumbled, pacing up the hallway like he was a few months prior.

“Calum, you haven’t slept at all for five weeks. Go home. Have a rest. Joy will be fine.”

Calum shook his head quickly, chewing on his nails. He needed to be there for Joy at all times, only leaving her side when he needed to piss or when they were forced out while Joy was having exams done.

“Why is this taking so long?!” Calum groaned in frustration, throwing his arms up.

“Cal, calm down. You’re gonna have a panic attack.” Ashton mumbled, standing up and pinning Calum’s hands to his sides.

Calum looked Ashton in the eye and seemingly calmed down a little. Panic attacks weren’t rare with Calum anymore. With his constantly decreasing positivity and mental health, he struggled to find the bright side in every situation. He was constantly worrying that whenever Joy fell asleep, she wouldn’t wake up again or that when she’d go into a coughing fit, she’ll literally cough up her lungs.

Fuck, maybe she was dying in the exam room and they weren’t even there to help her.

“Calum, you’re hyperventilating. Calm down.” Ashton spoke firmly.

“She- What if- Gone- Ashton!” Calum spluttered, tears flowing down his face.

Calum refused to let Joy go without saying goodbye. He wouldn’t let it happen. What if she died and the last thing she saw was the doctor and the last thing she felt was pain?

Calum’s eyes widen as his breathing quickened. He tried to move towards the door but Ashton was quick to hold him back.

“Cal you can’t go in there. The doctor needs Joy to himself for exams.” Ashton whispered calmly in Calum’s ear.

“No! What if she’s dying in there? Ashton- Let me go!”

Ashton kept a firm grip on Calum, trying his hardest to hold on, even with Calum fighting against his grip, not showing any signs of stopping.

“Calum calm down. She’s alright. If anything like that was happening, Dr Palt would bring us in and there’d be way more doctors here.”

“But-”

“Calum. Trust me, she’s alright.”

Calum’s eyes filled with tears. He turned around and buried his head deep in Ashton’s chest, letting all his tears out.