Beautifully Knight (Jordan Knight Fanfic, Liadan #5)

Chapels and Conference Rooms

-MARIA-

I sat as still as I possibly could while I squeezed my eyes shut and attempted to shut out the world.

I was supposed to be praying or finding some source of peace or comfort. Maybe even silently reciting the words to the old hymn, It Is Well, that I'd sang in my grandfather's church many times.

I was supposed to be finding light, but all I saw was darkness. Cold, all-encompassing emptiness that was as confusing and unwelcoming as the rest of my life had felt lately. My heart wasn't at ease, it was breaking and I didn't know how to soothe it.

Admittedly, I was a daddy's girl growing up and a large part of that was because I adored the way he loved my mom and as an extension of that, me too. Even now, I found comfort in being home. It was my place of refuge when everything else around me fell apart, I knew all would be well there. Sure, there were times of upheaval and disagreements, but in the end, it was always well. I could always depend on that and believe in it even when I couldn't believe in anything else.

Yet all of a sudden, for the second time in my life, it felt like that assurance was being taken away from me. To make matters worse, this time there was nobody to blame.

Last time I could blame my hurt on my mother's attacker. I could reason through that and process through it. There was a clear cause and effect.

This was different, though. This could be attributed to her healing from the attack or to genetics or just to chance. And none of it was something that I could be angry about. I was happy that she'd healed, genetics were a part of nature, and chance was just that—chance.

Much like everything else around me, I was stuck in a place that I couldn't control and I felt utterly helpless.

The only thing that invaded my world of darkness was the feeling of vibrations traveling up my leg, but when I forced my eyes to open and pull out my phone to see the torrent of messages arriving, I couldn't will myself to read them. I had enough worried thoughts of my own, I didn't need to read anymore.

A sigh escaped my lips as I turned my phone to silent and slowly lifted my eyes to wander the chapel around me. The symbols of peace hanging on the walls. The soothing sound of a water fountain next door. The dancing candlelights at the front of the room. The spiritual texts and hymns on the back of the pew in front me. The warm brown eyes that locked with mine when I turned to my left and made me do a double-take.

"I knew I'd find you here. How're you holdin' up, Marisa?"

The tears that I thought I'd all cried out rose to the surface and I found myself melding into the embrace of a friend that I hadn't held for a long, long time. The friend that had helped rescue my mother the first time. The friend that hadn't truly been a friend since—Jesse Ferrari.

"You heard?" My voice came out in a broken sob as my tears soaked through his doctor's coat.

He nodded, "I don't think Lia Knight could ever get hurt and not have everybody she's ever met praying for her. I came into the room to check on a patient and found her sobbing. I thought something was wrong with her pregnancy, but she told me that your mom had helped her get out of a bad relationship before she met her current husband and she'd just gotten a message from your mom's firm asking people to pray for her."

"I didn't realize they'd done that."

"Yeah and then I went to do my rounds in the NICU, I ran into Caroline Abernathy. She filled me in on the details and told me your family was in her father's conference room. She told me how to find it and everything, but my instincts told me I'd find you here in the chapel," he explained as he rubbed my back gently.