Beautifully Knight (Jordan Knight Fanfic, Liadan #5)

Radiology and Records

-LIA-

Most days the croon of my husband's silky voice singing 'our song' and reminding me of the very first time that I'd fallen for him set me at ease and made me feel better no matter what was going on in the world around me. All I had to do was sit still for a moment and listen to Baby, I Believe In You and I'd instantly feel better.

But not today.

Today the lyrics brought tears to my eyes as the boisterous clanging sound of the claustrophobic machine that surrounded me threatened to drown them out. Today, for the first time, I wasn't so sure that the lyrics were true. I wasn't so sure that I would never let Jordan down.

I didn't want to. I wanted to believe that we would always be okay and his proclamations that we could make it through anything—all the really bad, really ugly, really hard stuff. I wanted to believe that nothing could ever break us apart, but I wasn't so sure anymore.

Something was wrong.

I'd tried really, really hard to ignore that fact and focus on the beauty of our new grandchild and all of the excitement of our ever-growing family. I'd tried to convince myself that all was well as I got lost in the joy of waking up to bubble baths and morning lovemaking with the man I loved more now than I ever had in all of our years of marriage. I'd tried to tell myself that I was just stressed or tired and I was fine, but deep down inside I knew that wasn't true and now I had nowhere to hide.

Something was wrong.

It was evident on the face of the doctor after I'd completed my CT scan and he'd stated that he wanted to send me for another one—a MRI to compare and contrast the results. Jordan told me it was just a precaution, the brain was a sensitive organ so the doctors wanted to be certain before they sent me home with a clean bill of health. Jonathan had echoed his brother when he'd shown up a half hour later while we sat in the radiology waiting room and claimed he was just stopping by as if it was normal to 'just stop by' the hospital. Gina had said the same when she'd also 'magically' appeared five minutes later before admitting that the twins had called her.

They were worried just like the doctors were and I was terrified. Absolutely terrified.

The sound of I'll Be Loving You Forever didn't help either as my New Kids playlist continued to play through the special headphones the MRI tech had given me and more and more memories flowed through my brain. They were beautiful memories that should have made me happy, just like the idea of Jordan and I loving each other forever should have set me at ease. We had been incredibly blessed with more years of loving each other than some people ever got, but the thought that it could all be coming to an end was unbearable and I found myself sobbing uncontrollably.

"Mrs. Knight?" a voice echoed through the machine and I sniffled as I tried to console myself. "Are you alright in there, Mrs. Knight? We need you to try your best to hold still, okay? We're almost done."

"O-okay," I stammered and blinked as I realized that I couldn't reach up to wipe away my tears. Instead they trailed down to my neck and flowed downwards beneath my gown, causing me to shiver slightly.

"You're doing great, just about ten minutes left," the MRI tech added before she clicked off her mic just in time for the song to begin to come to a close.

"We've come too far to ever turn back now, this love will last forever I see it all now," a younger version of my husband sang in my ears and goosebumps trailed my body.

You're okay, Lia. You're okay. You're going to be okay.

I mouthed the same mantra over and over in my mind until the clanging magnets began to slow the machine came to a stop.