Beautifully Knight (Jordan Knight Fanfic, Liadan #5)

Canisters and Credit Cards

-MARIA-

"Well baby sister, you're officially a mommy now," I smiled as I rested on the edge of Natalie's hospital bed and gazed across the room to where all of Trey's cousins were gathering around DJ to get a peek at him.

"I know," she breathed and tucked one of her dark ringlets behind her ears as her cheeks reddened. "It just seems so surreal to me still. Like obviously I've spent the past nine months knowing I was having a baby, but—" she seemed at a loss for words.

"It's magical and nerve wracking when it actually happens," I finished for her and she smiled.

"Yeah," she nodded. "I know starting my career and getting married are all very "grown-up" steps, but I don't know, I'd been in school and working with art all my life and I've known DJ all my life so making art a career and seeing DJ every morning didn't feel like huge changes to me. Just more so natural transitions, but having this precious little person who relies on me for everything is a whole different ball game. I finally feel like I'm truly a grown-up now and my respect level for Mom and Mama Beth has increased by a million while my respect level for you has gone up by a million and a half."

"Why the extra half for me?" I asked, surprised. "They're far better at the parenting thing than I am, trust me."

"Well you did all this alone at seventeen," Natalie observed and I followed her gaze over to where Gracie was taking Trey into her arms. A knot lodged in my throat as I silently wondered if I'd looked as young and clueless as she did now when I'd brought her into the world. I liked to think I didn't, but then it dawned on me that she was even older than I'd been when I'd given birth to her. By the time I was eighteen and one month old, I'd had a fiancé and a six month old infant. "I have no idea how."

I blinked away tears and shook my head as I focused back on my sister, "Well, I wasn't exactly alone. Mom and Dad were unbelievably supportive so once again Mom deserves the extra points, not me." I smiled as our mother emerged from the bathroom with her hand lightly rested on her forehead and walked over to us inquisitively.

"Extra points?" She asked as she grabbed her purse and peered inside until she pulled out a little canister.

"I was just saying the only reason I was able to manage having a baby alone at seventeen was because of you and Daddy and I learned all my mothering from you."

Mom blushed and shook her head, "Oh no, you're selling yourself short. We were there to help and guide, but you were also unbelievably mature considering the circumstances. You were a great mom from day one and so are you, Natalie," she smiled at both of us. "You've both created beautiful families that started just the way they were supposed to."

I returned her smile, but I wasn't so sure whether or not I completely agreed. In fact, that was something that I'd been debating more and more lately in my few moments of quiet alone time. At 35 years old, I had friends who were in all stages of life—some of the other young moms I'd met over the years had children who were going off to college, others had newborn babies and toddlers, and then others were still looking for their "one". While I valued and loved all of them and their different family structures, it was hard sometimes not to look at the ones who'd done like Natalie and enjoyed years of "finding themselves" before embarking on motherhood and feel just the slightest bit of jealousy.

I didn't regret having Grace at only seventeen—not even a little bit for a second. I was proud to be her mom and I thanked God every day that even in the midst of utter terror at how things would work out, I'd decided to go through with my pregnancy and have her. She was an incredible light in my world and I'd adored every single moment of being her mother. I wouldn't trade that opportunity for the world, but at the same time, her recent graduation from high school had triggered a trip down memory lane for me that I hadn't exactly been able to stop for the entire month since.