My Little Shifu

Shame

Hauling herself out of bed, Bai Qian moved towards the small wash bowl that Mi Gu had left on a side table for her before throwing her face straight into it.  Gurlgling and swishing her face about in the warm scented water, she then dragged her face back out again before reaching for the towel.  She really thought she might have a headache having drunk far more wine than she intended to, but surprisingly, her head was clear and remembering everything before she had left the Celestial Palace in anger.

Though after a lot of thought during her return home, she realized she should have taken control of that man and taken him from the Palace to talk to him.  This was not the man she had met that first day he had entered the Peach Tree Grove all stiff and uptight and nor was it the man she had left lying under the tree after a beautiful love making session. 

It seemed that event had been far more monumental to him than she realized, because he had literally changed overnight which had her wondering why.   It certainly wasn't as if he was a virgin, because the man knew exactly what he was doing, and he did so very well, she thought smiling to herself at the memory of his mouth and what he did with it, only to frown again.  If anything, she was the one who should have been affected greatly, after all, a womans first time is a celebration into womanhood, and he had taken her there.

Only Mo Yuan had literally acted like an over protective and highly jealous child, it astounded her as to how far he had allowed himself to sink and for what reason? she wondered as she then took herself to bathe now that she was wide awake.

As his Shifu, his failure was also hers, so she was embarrassed beyond measure, even if he wasn't.  He had not only made that little Princess cry, but the world was now no doubt swirling in gossip which she would hear about when Zhen Zhen arrived having left to fetch Zhe Yan who had stayed in the Celestial Heavens ns overnight.

And it was the gossip she was cringing at as she sunk down into her bath water to drown the shame right out of her.   Mo Yuans behaviour had literally drained her of all self respect she had, because as his Shifu, she should have ensured that he was prepared for women like that Princess, he should have held it together, acted like a gentleman and at the end of the night, wished her well, and let her go without hurting her feelings.  Everything she had taught him should have been enough to do just that, so she couldn't see what had gone wrong, because the festival was meant to the be grand finale of their time as Shifu and Disciple so they could then move on with their own lives, and hopefully a relationship as Mo Yuan and Bai Qian.

"Arrrghhhh....." she groaned loudly before sinking down into the bath water in exasperation.  He infuriated her no end, yet the harder she thought about him, the kind of man he was to her and the rest of the world, and everything she knew about him, last night should not have happened.

Of course he could act atrociously if he thought a woman was acting too outrageously, and he had hurt many, but what she saw went far beyond that.  If anything, she had seen a man who was far too invested in her.....

And then it hit her.  Her eyes were goggling at the epiphany that suddenly struck her like lightening.

"Could I be your first love Mo Yuan?" she asked in astonishment.  For a man of his advanced age, it seemed incredible but it was the only explanation.  After all, she had already surmised in the early days that he had no idea how to react to a woman and that was why he had chosen to remain celibate, however, his knowledge and skills at loving making did suggest otherwise.  

But love on the other hand, was completely different to just seducing a woman to keep her at his side, if he had actually fallen in love, then not only would this new and untried feelings rock him to the core, but it was very possible that Mo Yuan had in fact been bedazzled by her to the point of actually falling in love.  After all, only the young acted like he did, they did not have the experience to control their emotions.  The jealousy was extreme, the temper volitile when challenged by other males and their inability to control their emotions was something all young men and women learned to overcome with experience which only fueled her conclusion that Mo Yuan was actually in love for the first time.