the ones society stole

18. hold on to me

"let me take your hand, i'll make it right. i swear to love you all my life. hold on, i still need you." - Chord Overstreet

This was the first time Arabella could say that she was truly scared in her entire life. It all just happened so fast. One minute she was holding his hand, and the next, she was clutching his bleeding head in her lap screaming for help in the empty classroom. She scrambled for her phone as the teachers came running inside, the students fighting for a view of the drama.

A cloth was held against his head as she explained the dispatcher what happened. The tears were running down her face now, but she held in her sobs. She was no good to him a crying mess.

"What happened?" Mrs. James asked her.

"Did you seriously not hear me on the phone? I am pretty sure he had a panic attack and his body hit the ground before I could catch him."

"Is he on drugs?"

Offended, Arabella did not answer at first.

"Are you serious right now? No, he isn't on drugs. People can have panic attacks when they are completely sober you know," Her fear instantly evaporated into anger as she looked her dead in the eyes, "You're no use to anyone. Get out. You can judge us from outside."

She was pushed aside gently, as the EMTs brought in a stretcher. They asked her questions but all she could focus on was the side of Jacian's body being rolled away. Her knees gave out from under her, as the sobs over took her body.

"Please. Please let me ride with him," She begged the paramedic, "I need to see if he is okay."

He just nodded at her, and guided her out of the classroom. Being a constantly stared at was something she was used to, the stares of the students did not affect her, but she could not help but tighten her jacket around her body. It gave her a sense of reality. Even though she did not want to believe it, this was all real. It just did not feel that way.

She climbed into the ambulance, clutching the straps of her bag. She couldn't bear to look at him. It was so hard to see someone who had such light in his existence just look so pale and lifeless. This wasn't him. She refused to believe it.

An unexpected thought suddenly came to Arabella's mind, and a certain action was something that called her. It was an old thing really, and she does not remember the last time she has done this. She knew it was ridiculous, but she didn't know what else to do.

Her hands were folded in her lap, and she bowed her head in prayer.

Praying to a God she did not even know existed, she pleaded. She did not know to who, and she did not care. She just wanted someone to hear her, someone to listen.

how many sins have you committed? you really think he is going to listen to you now?

She did everything she could to push the thought aside, but it was true. How can she pray to him? God wasn't a genie, he does not just grant wishes whenever we feel like it. She has done nothing in her life to honor him, how can she expect everything to just fall in to place as if she hasn't ran away from him all her life?

Please, forgive me. Lord, I beg you. Don't take him away from me, not yet.

The ambulance pulled up into the nearest hospital, and she did her best to stay calm. She followed the rushed paramedics inside, constantly looking around. Her vision was a blur of white and blue scrubs. Her ears were a mixture of cries and shouts.

"I'm sorry miss," A short nurse stopped her gently, "You can't go any farther. You are welcome to wait here, until the doctor can meet with you."

"Wait," She caught the nurses arm, "Will he be okay?"