It's like feeling the warm sun on your face while you lay there.
I could feel the cool breeze and the smell of the earth beneath me.
The flutter of leaves and the sun rays creeping from between the leaves. As I open my eyes I could see them, gracefully fluttering their wings in the bright blue sky.
Is that how it feels to be free? I sit up to watch them.
Kaleidoscope of butterflies above me felt Like I am in a different world.
I remembered looking at them till they disappeared from my sight.
That was my happiness, the feeling of the grass on my feet as I ran barefoot laughing my heart out. My best friend beside me, as we played with bubbles and dancing among the stars.
An autumn evening, with the dry leaves crumbling under our boots as the street are filled with smell of pumpkin spice.
The sleepover nights where we shared our feelings and staying awake star grazing.
This was my happy times, have I lost it now? How do I turn back time to the day I would take my life.
Maybe if I have waited a few more minutes, my mom would have wished me with the cake.
We would have had a good time and Lucy would have been there to talk to me.
I have been loved and I have loved but I realised it late.
This moments I am reliving are just my memories, repeating its self but as soon as walk through my door, I am back in the hospital room. I'm laying there lifeless. I wish it was only peaceful as it looks.
I was looking through my hospital window and I missed my life so much. I wish I was alive. I want to live again.
