Band of Brothers Preferences and Imagines

Lewis Nixon Imagine #1

        AN: Just a warning, this is sad. I cried a little. Listen to Let Her Go by Passenger while reading thisss. And I'm not doing the entire song soooo.

 Staring at the bottom of your glass, hoping one day you'll make a dream last.

    There the officer sat, staring at his flask. He hadn't felt this down in a while. He clutched the small pieces of metal attached to a broken chain. He swirled his flask around in circles, listening to the alcohol within it. His heart was hurt. Everything had hurt. Though, he felt numb. His spark had left, his spark wouldn't be coming back. He grazed his thumb over and over again over the dog tags. Feeling the engraving of her name over and over. Non stop thinking about what could've been. What she would be doing in that moment. How he held her, how she kissed him, how they made love. It was gone now. Everything was gone. With those things leaving, so did Nixon's sarcastic and funny character. He was now quiet, cold, and angry. He drank much more than he did before, only to numb the pain he felt. 

   He downed the rest of the liquor within his metal flask and he clutched the broken dog tags tightly in his fist. Tears threatened to spill at the thought of Y/N. But, with a quick motion of standing up to refill his flask and quickly wipe his eyes once before pushing the tears back. A cold look displayed onto his features.

    But dreams come slow and they go so fast

    As he walked through the halls, trying to get to his bunk, the memories kept flowing back. Walking past his office. He can see Y/N standing there in the door way, smiling and laughing at the him as he sat on his desk drinking and making jokes instead of doing paperwork.  He turned his head fast to face down the hall. Pushing the vision as far into the back of his head as he could. Staring back down the hall. This is where he could see when the two would chase each other and when he would carry her through the halls happily, laughing all the way. He blinked back the tears and swallowed hard. He just tried to push it back as he made it to his bunk. He crashed down onto his mattress. A migraine was forming. He place a hand over his forehead, rubbing his temple. 

   He felt as if he was going insane. It's like he could feel her laying next to him. her tight grip around his waist was still there, the faint smell of her perfume was still laced in the sheets, blankets, and pillows. He couldn't escape the living nightmare of Y/N not being there with him. Lewis knew that he wouldn't be able to push through this and not get past this. He needed her, But she wasn't there anymore. He kissed the dog tags softly as he placed them on his chest. Closing his eyes and he took a deep breath, trying to convince himself that she was very much still there.

   You see her when you close your eyes, Maybe one day you'll understand why, Everything you touch surely dies

   Right as he finally got some sleep, the horrors were there. The day he saw bullets tear through her body. A war crime it was. Y/N was a medic, and those god forsaken Germans killed her. The moment her body hit the ground just kept replaying in his mind. The way the blood dripped from her mouth as she cried, telling Nixon she was sorry and that she wanted to be with him more than anything. His screamed for another medic echoed through his ears as the pictures of all the bullet holes that littered your body bled horribly. He watched himself cry into her lifeless body as the bullets continued and after all gun fire stopped. In that moment, the war truly broke him.

   His body lurched upwards, tears poured from Nixon's eyes. He couldn't get them to stop this time. He reached for his flask and placed his head in his hands. He just couldn't understand or get over the fact on how Y/N had passed. 'It should have been me' or 'If I was faster, she would still be here' was the thoughts that rang throughout the officer's head. He wished she were there.