Band of Brothers Preferences and Imagines

Eugene Roe Imagine #4

AN: We are not going to talk about how bad this imagine is. I really don't like it.

    I softly exhaled as I leaned against a building in some area in Austria. I honestly had no idea where the Company and I were. And neither did I care. In this moment, I didn't care if I made it out of this damn war or not. Ever since Bastogne, I guess I have changed. It was one thing seeing men I knew and friends get shot. But now, watching my closest friends being blown to pieces, their bodies being thrown, limbs being torn off. It finally occurred to me how fucked we all were. From then on I guess I grew distant to everyone. Even my friends. I lost many of my closest friends in that forest. And I don't think I had ever been so sad in my life. SO I think if I just distance myself, and just try to think people aren't my friends, it won't hurt as bad or at all even if something happens. But I was wrong. Dead wrong.

   Now here I am. Alone under the hot sun in a random place in Austria, sad and tired. Recently, I wish it was me that had been one of the victims of this war. I had no one to go home to. Almost all the men that have died in all different way, did. My parents had passed away a while back and I was an only child. I had lived by myself for a while, not thinking much of it. I had a boyfriend at home back at New York. Though, I received a letter from him and he ended things. I remember how long and how hard I quietly cried during fire watch that night. I was hurt. And that was the start of my mental down fall. My heart was heavy from then on out.

   It was mid day, I kicked a pebble back and forth between my boots. I was bored. But, there was never much to do around here. Or anywhere Easy Company went in that matter. I yawned as I stared down at the pebble. I sighed, missing a lot of things in that moment. My old boyfriend, my parents, my friends, my home, my bed. I was drained of everything. And for some reason I felt like I could cry. Maybe I did actually break back in the forest. Maybe pieces of me were left behind that I'll never get back. While I was stuck up within my thoughts, I didn't hear the sound of someone approaching me. That was until someone tapped me on my shoulder and I looked up. It was Doc Roe. His piercing eyes drilling deep within mine. And in that moment, my heart felt like it stopped. My face heated up and my mouth went dry. I gulped and looked at him.

   "You okay L/N, you've been distant. We miss having you around you know," his voice was soft. I gave him soft smile, though it was sad. I had missed them just as much, but my own fears and hurt made my walls go up. I wanted to explain what I was feeling to him and my friends, but I just couldn't. I didn't know how to form my emotions into the proper words to tell these men that are my closest friends. I felt awful in that moment. I didn't realize that the guys had actually missed my presence and or noticed my absence. I'm an actual idiot. Doc looked sad and a little more tired than normal. "I've missed having you around Y/N," my heart broke slightly. Eugene and I had been very close. We both were quiet and kept out distance from everyone, that's probably where and what we bonded upon from each other. After my ex had left me, he had found me crying and comforted me. There was something about Eugene that made him so special to me. I didn't know what it was. But after that night when he comforted me, my stomach got butterflies and my heart felt lighter. I remember the smile he gave me and how he told me funny stories about his grandmother back in Louisiana. "I miss the old you Y/N," that sentence hurt the most. How he said it made it even worse. He was sad. Heartbroken if even. I gave him a sorrowful look as the medic's gaze traveled elsewhere.

   "I'm sorry Gene, I really am," I was sorry. I felt awful. I wondered how the others felt. I was so selfish. I tilted Eugene's head up to look at me. His eyes had tears in them. I have never seen him like this. Oh god what did I do. "Gene please don't cry, I'm sorry. I didn't know you guys missed me so much," I rambled on. My heart raced, I panicked to help him. He just kept his eyes on me and wrapped his arms tightly around my torso. I had never seen him this way. I don't believe anyone has. I was shocked at first.