Band of Brothers Preferences and Imagines

Richard Winters Imagine #4

AN: This was requested by @sugarblossom8. I hope you love it. I know it isn't wicked romantic, but I thought it was cute.

   The forest grew colder and colder each night. The German artillery seemed to never end. The casualties just continued to rack up in numbers each day. The screams, the bombs, the shouts of orders, it just never ended. And I don't know how much more I could take in all honesty. Now my friends were dying. I know it was an awful thing when the Replacements died. Being blown to bits or being shot to pieces. Though, now it was my friends. The people I had grown close to ever since Camp Toccoa. Skip and Penkala's foxhole was hit directly by a German artillery shell. Now, in the past few days I lost four more friends. Joe Toye lost his leg during a bombing, and then Bill Guarnere lost his trying to drag Joe into safety. Poor Buck hit his official breaking point. Joe and Bill were sent back to the states whilst Buck went back to god knows where. Hoobler finally got a Luger and it accidentally went off in his pocket. The bullet shot a main artery. He died in minutes. It was really doing a number on me and many others.

///

   I sat in my foxhole. Leibgott just had gotten up to go take a piss. And now I had been all alone with my thoughts. Which were running like wild today. It was night time, the cold air hit my face and sent a shiver down my spine. I wrapped my arms around my torso, praying that it would bring some more warmth through my body. The blanket on my lap was only doing so much. I sat in silence, dead pan staring into the deep, endless void of the forest in front of me. I wished everything was perfect. There was no war. Every man and woman in every branch was home. Not having to worry about when they would have a next meal. or more importantly. If they were going to fucking live to see the next day. So many innocent men and basically kids didn't have to die each and every fucking day. 

   I began to think things over. Why the fuck are we here? How is it worth it to have men die every single day. Fathers, brothers, sons, husbands, boyfriends. Every day, hundreds all over the world. And what was it for? How would this ever help something or someone? I just started thinking about the people I lost. I wanted to go home. I hated to admit it. But I did. I missed my parents, my bed, my dog. That is when my eyes began to water. Not from the cold. The hot tears were from my own doing. I wanted to let them fall, though I couldn't let them. 

  I had grown rather distant to the rest of my friends here. I felt bad for a moment. It wasn't fair to them that with all their friends were either dying, or being shipped back to the states. And I was just pushing myself farther and farther away. Though, I didn't know what else to do. I wasn't like the others that could just push away the feelings or just forget about them. Hell, most of the guys act like nothing even happened. I just wasn't like that. I couldn't be like that. I wanted to, I needed to. Though, no matter what, I can't just ignore what happened to my friends. I can't just act like everything is okay. That isn't me.

///

  I was pulled out of my daze and thoughts when I heard someone jump in the foxhole. Dirt puffed up as the person's boots collided with the ground. I looked up, expecting to see Joe. Though, the man that sat in front of me was Captain Winters. I stared at him, my mouth slightly open. Why was he here. 

  "Captain Winters?" I asked quietly. My eyes carried the look of confusion. 

  "Sergeant L/N," He gave me a nod. For a few minutes, we sat in awkward silence. I brought my knees up to my chest and kept a steady eye on the Captain. He pressed his lips into a thin line. "Sergeant, I heard from First Sergeant Lipton that people are starting to worry about you," He spoke softly. I let out a sarcastic chuckle and looked down at my lap. Looking back up to him.

  "Sir, what is the purpose of you coming over here?" I looked at him, tilting my head to the side. Everyone was worried about everyone. I wasn't the only one turning into a more distant person. Men like Malarkey and Jackson were coming down to be just as distant and upset as me.

  "We are worried about you Y/N. It wasn't just Lipton that brought it up to me. It was Malarkey, Leibgott, Bull. You're friends are worried. I'm worried," he answered. Looking at me. The look in the Captain's eyes proved his care. So instead over saying something in return, I kept silence. Thinking it was probably for the best. I turned my head and just tried to find something else to focus on. Anything but the the officer that was eyeing me. 

  I heard him stand and him shuffle to sit right next to me. I just kept looking away. I heard him sigh heavily. "Y/N, I'm not going to force you to talk to me. This is purely unprofessional. But, you need someone to talk to, and I'm here," he reassured. I turned and looked at him. I raised my eyebrow and he just stared at me. I shut my eyes for a second and took a deep breath. 

  "Sir, it hasn't even been a fucking month and the amount of men that we lost is huge. So many replacements, my closest friends. We volunteered to do this. I mean some might've been drafted. But most of us volunteered. Knowing damn well that some of us wouldn't even make it out of the plane. That as soon as we land anywhere, we could get shot, blown up, fucking stabbed. And what for Dick? We watch our friends die, get blown to pieces, and we still fight. How come I've made it so far and hundred of others haven't?" I rambled. My voice broke my hard lump that began forming. Tears pooled in my eyes as I just bit down on my bottom lip. 

  Winters just stared at me, he looked down at his lap and nodded slightly. "I know Y/N, I understand where you are coming from. But you can't blame yourself. This entire war doesn't even make sense. We are all human, and here we are killing each other just because someone in charge told us too. But, you still have us and yourself. Remember that," Richard spoke softly as putting a hand on the woman's shoulder and rubbing it slightly. I looked over to the officer and just quickly went to wrap my arms tightly around his shoulders. I felt his arms snake around my waist and held me close. I felt the stubble on his cheek brush against my forehead and I buried y face in the crook of his neck. "It's alright Y/N," he whispered. That is when a few tears broke free from my eyes. 

  He began flattening out my hair as I cried silently into his shoulder. For the first time in the three or more years I have been with the Airborne, no one really knew how to comfort me. Or even ask if I was alright. I didn't really care. Though, when it came from Captain Winters, it felt different. Almost new. I felt cared about. Almost loved. And right now, I didn't want to move. A flip switched within me when he placed his chin on top of my head. I didn't want to move for anything right now. And that's what we did. Richard held me until I had fallen asleep. He planted a soft kiss on my forehead and slipped away.

  Only leaving me slightly confused with my feelings towards the officer when I woke up the next day.