The Edge | Peter Parker

Chapter Ten

They watched the steam float off of the pizza as he sat it down on the table next to her. She smiled brightly at him before opening it up and grabbing a slice. He placed the mask onto his nose before doing the same. He ate it quickly, and she watched him oddly. He took notice after he finished his slice. "What? Oh, sorry. I'm sure that was kind of... unmannerly."

"It's okay." She chuckled. She paused for a moment. "Hey..."

"Yeah?"

"You know I wouldn't really do anything to betray your trust, right?" She asked him. He was silent for a moment. "Like, I know I lied about not going out and doing your job for you, but... I would never truthfully lie or betray you. I just wanted to make sure you knew that, because I wasn't sure if you did."

"I'm sorry I said that." He sighed out. "It's not your fault, Holly, I just... I have an issue with trust. I'd explain it to you, but..."

"It'd give away your identity." She cut him off. "Right."

"I'm sorry, I just... I don't know. It's easier this way."

"That's what you always say."

"Trust me."

"I'm trying." She gave him an exasperated look. "I'm trying to trust you, but it's hard to trust someone when they won't even show you their face."

"I'm sorry." Was all he could offer. Should he just show her his face? She'd made it clear he could trust her, but could he? Doubt invaded his mind, but he couldn't help it. He trusted Mysterio, even gave him the glasses Tony entrusted him with, and look what happened there. He trusted Martin, and now here he was. Why does this always happen to him? Why does everyone he loves and cares about end up being evil and betraying him? Or, just end up dying? He had to believe it was his fault. Like what he read in Li's journal, about Fisk being arrested. That confirmed for Peter that if he'd never arrested him, then none of this would've happened.

"I'm sorry, too. I just... I just want to know who you are. And I know it doesn't just make things easier. That's an excuse. Maybe you think it does, but it's because you're scared. You're scared of what I'll think about you. But I already know what I think about you, Spider-Man. It's clear, looks or not. You're incredible, intelligent, selfless, kind, funny, fascinating, the list goes on. So, whatever it is that you're so afraid of, don't be. I know that's easier said than done, but I mean it. Seeing your face isn't going to change anything about you." She rambled, and he listened.

"If it won't change anything, then why do you want to see who I am so badly?" He inquired in a quiet voice. She let out a long sigh as she reached over and grabbed a napkin off the table, wiping her hands off.

"Isn't it obvious by now? I want to see who you are, Spider-Man, so I can be closer with you. I want to be able to see your emotions, to know how you truly feel. I want to be able to talk to you about things, like your daily life. I don't want you to feel like you have to hide from me, because I care about you. I know how stressed you are, how you hold the world on your shoulders even though you shouldn't have to. And I know how you don't care for yourself well enough. I mean, have you even slept at all this weekend? I didn't think so. I just... That's what I want." She told him seriously. He shook his head at her. He pulled his mask down as he suddenly lost his appetite. She frowned.

"You don't want that, Holland, I promise you." He stood up and stepped away from the couch. He was closing her off again. She sighed and stood, too. He backed away as she started stepping up to him. She stopped when she noticed.

"What happened to you? What made you think that about yourself?" She asked, taking gentle steps towards him.

"Everyone I know gets hurt in some way because of me. Everyone, everything. I ruin everything I touch. My parents are dead, my uncle is dead, Mysterio turned out to be evil and I gave him those glasses. I let him destroy London. And I just make mistake after mistake. Now Li is out there hurting people, and I could've stopped him had I realized before. And if I hadn't arrested Fisk, then none of this would've happened. I don't want to do that to you. I can't do that to you, I won't. If I rope you into my life, then everything will change. If people find out we're connected, they'll come after you. A lot of people hate me and want me dead, and after all this, that number's going to triple. If I tell you who I am, if I get too close to you, I could lose you." He rambled, his words slurring together as he spoke quickly. She stepped up to him finally, looking up into his bug eyes. She wished she could see who he was underneath there. She just wished she could help him. He shouldn't feel this way, he didn't deserve to.