Shawn's POV
I can't believe I've said that to her. We lay together in bed, her still asleep body draped over my chest. The events of last night ere overwhelming. I feel like I've never had so much drama in one day in my life. Not even while I was with my band mates. Maybe some drama at Noah's wedding, but this was all personal, all about Nora and Piero.
Piero. What a vile excuse of a human being. A pathetic excuse of a man if I say so myself. My only hope is that Vera isn't treated like he was treating Nora. My sweet Nora. The emotions of last night over took me when I told her I loved her, it was the truth. I had wanted to say it for quite some time and it just felt like the right time. She was shocked, I could tell, but she quickly gathered her emotions and said it back. I never expected to have a girl like Nora. We don't have anything figured out, I'm leaving in two weeks for home and we have no idea what the next step is but I don't care.
Nora groans in her sleep and rolls away from me, showing me her naked backside. What I felt for Camila pales in comparison for what I feel for Nora. Camila was someone I respected, yes, and I know I loved her but this love I have for Nora is something I can't even explain. Not only do I need her, but I feel like I just want every part of her all the time. Her giggle, how she covers her hands with her jumper to try and stop her laughter, how she sits as close to me as possible when I'm mad, how she's completely okay with the silence, and how she always shows she's there for me.
My phone buzzes and I quickly realize its my mum. I smile and slip my slippers on, carefully getting out of bed and rushing to the balcony doors.
"Hey mum." I speak in a hushed tone, shutting the doors quietly and enjoying the view. It's still a little foggy here, the weather is getting colder. But it's not cold enough to require extra layers yet. You can still hear the birds chirping. It reminds me of home.
"Hi Shawn." I can hear her smile through the phone. "How are you dear?" I can picture her sitting at the table, drinking her coffee, looking outside and enjoying the view. I know sometimes mum gets bored during the day, all of her children in school or out of the house. It's afternoon there so she's all alone.
"I'm doing well. And you?" I take a seat at the small balcony sized table, propping my legs up on the ledge.
"Oh just fine. Where are you?"
"I'm in Vermont. I went to a wedding yesterday." I smile. All my bad memories have been practically erased and all I can think of is that moment by the car when I told her I loved her. It's like the world stopped turning for just a second. It was just her and I and that's all I needed.
"A wedding? With that woman?" My mum asks quickly, I've been lost in my moment and forget about the fact that I'm still on the phone.
"Her name is Nora mum. I really think you'd like her." I think everyone would like her. She's got a heart of gold.
"Shawn." She takes that tone and my heart drops. My family is as much important to me as Nora's is to hers, I need my mums approval. "I just want you to be careful."
"What do you mean mum?" I shift uncomfortably in my cold seat.
"I don't want to see you hurt again Shawn. I remember you after Camila. Everyone remembers you after Camila. You were a mess. You've known this woman for what? Three months? That's not long enough. You're putting yourself out there too much, you're taking a big risk. You need to just focus on yourself and wait." She pleads with me, I understand her reservation but I can handle it.
"Mum, you don't understand." I start.
"No Shawn, I do understand. You want love, you want to feel loved and I get that. But you need to slow down and think. You are who you are and you have to be cautious with people who want to use you and your position."
"What are you trying to say? She's not using me mum. She loves me." I stand and start to pace back and forth on the small landing.
"I just want you to be careful. Don't move so quickly." She tries to reason with me and speak with me in that voice.
"I am being careful mum. I think you'd really like her." I try to lighten the mood, what I wouldn't do for a cigarette right now.
"Well I don't want to meet her Shawn." I stop dead in my tracks.
"Why not?"
"Because honestly, I don't want to fall in love with her too. I loved Camila and now I have to treat her like she's never been a part of our family. I know it's difficult for you but do you ever think of how difficult it is for us? It's hard for your sisters, it's like they lost a sister, and for your father and I, it's like we lost a daughter. And to make matters worse, our only son took off to New York city and we hardly ever hear from him. I don't want her to break your heart, and I sure as hell don't want to listen to her cry to me on the phone when you break hers." I can picture her now, agitated at the kitchen table, probably tapping her feet and pushing against the other chairs.
"Well mum, life isn't planned out. I know my divorce was difficult for everyone. But I had to live it in public Can you imagine that pain? Can you imagine hearing rumors about yourself or about your soon to be ex-wife everywhere you go? I couldn't go our to eat or go visit friends without being reminded of her. I'm still dealing with it. And Nora is too, it isn't even her problem but she's dealing with it. I've never asked her for anything and she deals with it all with a smile." I lean against the ledge, looking back through the glass to see Nora still sleeping.
"I'm sorry Shawn, my intention with this call was not to make you upset." She assures me.
"I know mum. It's just been difficult for me too. Nora makes things better. She listens to me, she assures me that I will be okay. And she's happy mum." My shoulders drop and I rest my forehead against the railing.
"I know that you've made a good decision Shawn. And I do want to meet her eventually. I just want you to be careful. Guard your heart a little bit. I've got to go pick up Safaa from school. We'll continue this chat later?" She suggests.
"Yeah, tell everyone I said hello. I love you mum." I flash the fog a tight smile.
"Love you to dear." I hang up the phone and quickly check the weather, a few e-mails, and spot read some texts I haven't responded to yet. I stand and stretch with the sun, deciding to take a shower and get a jump start on the day, maybe even leave Nora to get some breakfast for us.
I carefully open the door and Nora doesn't stir as I tip toe past her and rummage through my bag for a pair of joggers and a light t-shirt.
"Mmm, what are you doing?" I bite my lip, smiling as I turn to see a sleepy Nora hardly opening her eyes.
"What are you doing?" I ask her, walking over to the bed and leaning down so were at eye level.
"I was sleeping, had this wonderful dream, then I realized you were gone." Her voice is raspy with sleep.
"I was just chatting with my mum." I move the hair from her eyes, her beautiful eyes.
"And how is she? Hopefully well."
"Yes, and I told her all about you. She wants to meet you." I lie, quite frankly it's better then the truth, to tell her that my mum doesn't even like the idea of her.
"Well that's nerve wrecking, to meet your family, but I suppose if I love you then I would love to meet them." She pulls the sheet up over her shoulders and a slight blush appears on her cheeks as if she's nervous for my reaction. I really think that my sisters would love her. It pains me to think of them so hurt after Perrie and I broke up. I will always carry this baggage with me. I will always have it in my heart, no matter how wonderful Nora is.
"I love you." I feel like I have such desperation in my voice but it's the truth. I just love her.
She pokes her hand out from under the covers, brushing my chin with her delicate fingers. "I love you too."
