I feel like I can't catch my breath. I clutch my chest as I make my way down the hallway and back to the studio. I don't know what to do, my breath is labored, like an elephant is resting on my chest, slowly killing me. I know Camila and I are over. We've been over for almost two years now. Shahid and I lost touch a while ago, I was hurt by him going after my ex-wife but it is what it is. I just wasn't ready for this. I wasn't ready to find out that Camila is engaged let alone to someone I used to be friends with.
Coming to the door of the studio I rest my head against the door and slowly slide down it. I just can't seem to face Andrew right now. He's my friend but I'm sure he'll be saying I told you so. He was never too fond of Camila and Shahid. But I was blinded by love and friendship.
I step away from the door all the sudden as if it was covered in fire and lean against the opposite hallway. My hands are shaky as I pull out my phone. I just have to talk to her. I have to hear Nora's voice. Even if it's her voicemail message. I need her. This news hit me like a truck, out of nowhere and fast. I find her number and press send, I don't even care that I'll probably be waking her up as it's only eleven here.
"Shawn?" She asks, her voice filled with sleep.
"Hi." I look around me to see if anyone has found that I'm here. I'm sure now everyone in that room knows I'm here.
"Shawn, whats the matter?" She asks. I can hear things moving around where she's at, I don't know what it is but at the moment I need to be selfish.
"It's Camila." I squeak out, literally my voice cracks at the mere mention of her name.
"Is everything okay?" I'm sure she's thinking the worst as I mention my ex-wife's name.
"She's-she's" I start and a noise startles me, causing me to not finish what I was about to say. God, it's like when I say it out loud then it's real. I can't explain this, I loved Camila, and a part of me always will, I just didn't expect her to move on so quickly like this, to move on to one of my friends, to move on so seriously. Well, former friend. I take a deep breath and calm myself. "She's engaged to be married to Shahid. I just ran into them at the studio." I lean my head against the wall. God I what I wouldn't do for a cigarette right now.
"She's engaged to Naughty Boy?" She asks for clarification.
"Yes." I pinch the bridge of my nose and rub my temples. "I know it's crazy. I know I shouldn't care but this just hurts." I slowly slide down the wall and rest my elbows on my knees.
"It's not crazy Shawn. You were blindsided. Who are you at the studio with?" She asks, thank God she understands.
"Andrew." I bite my thumbnail for no reason other then to calm my jittery nerves.
"Can you stay with him for a bit? Hide out or have him take you out? I don't think you need to stay there Shawn. My heart just breaks that I can't be there with you right now." Her voice drops a little bit, true emotion coming across through the line. God I miss her.
"I miss you." I admit. "I think this doesn't even bother me as much as I think it does. I just wish you were here. I just, I just need you." Seeing Camila with Shahid of course killed me but it makes me see that I need Nora. I don't care that people may not approve of us together, she's my person. I rub my mouth at the realization of everything. My nerves suddenly calm.
"I miss you too. We've made it a month, only a few more weeks." I can tell she's smiling. "Why don't you and Andrew just leave and go have fun." She suggests.
"Yeah, I think that's a good idea. Thank you. I'll call you later, yeah?" My body is aching to be close to her, to touch her and be next to her. Her voice awakens my body more then I've ever known anyone to do.
