The Royal Alpha

Chapter 21: Abandoned

I sit there long after Fenris leaves the infirmary, staring at the closed door as though it might open again if I look hard enough.

Time stretches into something shapeless. I don't know how long I remain frozen like that—minutes, maybe longer—but my body feels heavy, my thoughts heavier. When he came on to me earlier, I had been scared. Not because I believed he would hurt me, but because of the intensity of everything he carried into that room with him. His mate had gone missing. He had found me on the brink of being violated. He had watched helplessly as rogues tried to claim what was never theirs.

His desperation made sense.

His need to mark me—to protect me, to anchor himself to me—wasn't cruelty. It was instinct. Fear. Love twisted painfully tight.

And still, I couldn't give him what he asked for.

I wasn't ready.

Aztec's visit had only confirmed that truth.

I had told him that Fenris was my mate, but I hadn't found the courage to admit the rest—that I had rejected my own mate for him. Saying it aloud would have made Aztec feel responsible, guilty for something that was never his fault. I refused to place that weight on his shoulders.

But sitting here alone, the truth presses in from all sides.

In all of this, I have thought endlessly about Aztec. About my heartbreak. About what I lost.

And never—not once—did I truly stop to think about Fenris.

What it must have felt like to lose his mate. To be restrained while she was taken. To find her bruised, broken, nearly destroyed. To see her former lover sitting beside her bed the very next morning. And then—to be rejected. Again.

The realization settles heavily in my chest.

I am hopeless.

A useless mate.

I press my palms into my eyes, forcing myself not to break down. I've already cried enough over something that was never truly mine. I refuse to waste tears over my own mistakes too.

No.

I straighten my spine, inhaling deeply.

I will complete my training here. I will rebuild myself—mind, body, spirit. And when I am whole again, when I am strong enough to stand without leaning on ghosts, I will accept Fenris as my mate.

That is the right path.

A knock on the door breaks through my resolve.

"Come in," I murmur.

Tatiana steps inside, her expression gentle, followed closely by her brother. I sit up immediately, tugging my clothes into place, suddenly aware of how exposed I feel.

"Good morning, dear," Tatiana says softly, taking the chair Aztec occupied earlier. She reaches for my hand and squeezes it. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yes," I reply. "I did. Thank you for staying with me through the night."

"You were asleep when I woke," she says. "I didn't want to disturb you, so I stepped out. Did anything happen? Any visitors?"

"Yes," I say quietly. "Aztec and Fenris came."

Tatiana smiles faintly—but Connor jolts upright as if struck.

"What?" He strides toward me. "How is that even possible? Your ex and your mate at the same time—"

His sudden movement makes me whimper. I curl back instinctively, pressing into the pillows.

"Connor!" Tatiana snaps, leaping up and dragging him away from the bed. "You're scaring her. Leave. Now."