Me: *dies*
Aesop: ....
Aesop: *sighs*
Aesop: *revives me*
Me: *gasps*
Me: nO! WHY DIDN'T YOU LET ME DIE!
Aesop: No.
Me: Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy...
Me: I wanna cri. qwq
Aesop: *sighs*
Aesop: Alright, Hyla. Out with it.
Me: I keep procrastinating. I don't want to keep doing shit at home. At least at school I get teachers looming over me and watching my every move, making sure I'm concentrating. At home, I'm slowly dying as I restlessly work for a change without anyone moderating me.
Aesop: ...That's it?
Me: I KNOW I KNOW THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE A 'VALENTINE'S DAY SPECIAL' OR SHIT BUT YOU KNOW WHAT FUCK YOU FUCK IT ALL I JUST WANNA BE LESS BORED-
Aesop: How are you bored when-
Me: I DON'T FUCKING KNOW I JUST I don't know what to WRITE okay?!
Aesop: Girl you need to fucking chill.
Me: *hisses*
Aesop: Sorry. I take it back. Friend.
Me: I just- What do I even do? What do I write for something? I'm shit at Valentine's Day!
Tutorial: Well, you could-
Me: Oh hell no.
Tutorial: I didn't even-
Me: I can read your fucking mind you perv. Go fuck Aesop or somethin'.
Tutorial: Excuse me what?!
Me: Think I fuckin' care? Just do whatever. OI, KREACHER! HANDS OFF THE DAMN CABINET!
Aesop: He's... Not even here.
Me: *grumbles*
Me: I just screamed in his mind. He's probably having a catatonic breakdown right now. I'm just going to go to my room and make sure he's okay.
Tutorial: He's- In your room?
Me: Tried to steal something from me, why do you think I yelled that shit?
Tutorial: I don't know, because you're crazy?
Me: Yeah, yeah, good point.
*TIMESKIP*
Me: So... What can I do on Valentine's? Not like I have a boyfriend.
Tutorial: Result to platonic relationships, maybe?
Me: Top-notch idea!
Tutorial: So when can we hang ou-
Me: MY DEAR READERS! Remember my old book?! IT'S REACHED OVER 20K READS! LIKE WHAT THE FUCK?! WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU GUYS COME FROM?!
Tutorial: *disappointedly moonwalks away*
Me: Ah- Where's he going?
Aesop: I don't know and I don't care. Now, would you like to talk about something? Maybe like your cru-
Me: Oh, and I forgot!
Me: *blows kisses to readers*
Me: Y'all are such blessings! This would all be nothing without you, you are the life and fuel of this book, so thank you! This Valentine's, all my love goes out to you!
Aesop: *bows towards the POV cam and shuffles away*
Me: W- Now where's he going?
Orpheus: *pops out of nowhere*
Orpheus: You should really start acknowledging your friends more.
Me: Achpftzlpfck- Get the fuck outta my sight!
Orpheus: Oh please, any idiot knows that you don't hate me.
Me: *scoffs*
Me: Who ever said that? Just get out of my face, you remind me of Door-kun.
A/N - Props to you if you get the reference! :)
Orpheus: Who-
Me: Whatever, just gtfo.
Orpheus: I- What is g-t-f-o?
Me: I said the letters out loud, didn't I. I mean, get the fuck OUT!
Orpheus: Yeesh, alright! 'm out.
Orpheus: *spins away*
Me: *looks at you guys dead in the eye*
Me: What, you expected me to get all flustered and end up kissing him? Grow up, this ain't a fucking fantasy novel. Plus, everyone knows the point of Valentine's Day is never the romance!
Robbie: Wait, if Valentine's Day isn't about love and romance what is it really about?
Me: Oh, child. Everyone's always trying to fool you, trying to trick you into believing in that 'romance' bullshit. It's obvious that Valentine's Day's true meaning behind the mask is just the marketing empire selling you shit, disguising it as loving you spouse. It's all fucking shit.
Robbie: What's 'fuck' and 'shit'?
Me: Oh fucccrrraaaaapppp I screwed up.
Me: *wipes Robbie's mind*
Me: You heard NONE OF THAT!
Robbie: Huh?
Me: END THIS CHAPTER BEFORE THE CHILD IS CORRUPTED FURTHER!
??? Robotic Voice: You may not end this chapter until you say the key word.
Me: KEYWORD?! FffFFFFFFUDGIN' KEYWORD?! JUST END THIS DAMN-
??? Robotic Voice: Please remain calm-
Me: Calm? CALM?! I MADE YOU YOU USELESS TIN CAN PIECE OF SHHHAAAARRGGGHHH FINE TOODLES THERE JUST END THE F-
YOU ARE READING
Identity V On Crack 2: Electric Boogaloo (COMPLETED)
Fiksi PenggemarThat's right folks, the second edition's coming up! In this book, you'll see one-shots, incorrect quotes, asks, dares, reactions, all that stuff, written by a girl who nearly flunked english class! This book runs mainly on requests, so if you enjoy...
