Male/Ftm Reader x random

Captain America x male!reader

A/n: Not proofread.

(Y/n's POV)
It was 2:37 a.m. I was sitting on the edge of the bed Steve and I shared. It wasn't the first night I had sat awake lately. I loved Steve, I love Steve. I just, sometimes have doubts. Not about our love, no, not at all. Just about being so open, and about my sexuality.
Steve, is The Captain America, everyone knows him, every kid want to be him, every woman wants to be his wife. He chose to date me though. I have been glared at on the street, torn apart in the papers and magazines, and even, on more then one but less then ten occasions, I've been beaten up in an ally. I don't like to tell Steve that these things happen. He usually finds out himself though. I just feel bad. I sometimes wonder what would happen if I was a women, or if we were less open. Though I do wonder, I enjoy the freedom of being able to hold hands and kiss in the open. It's a give and a take.
I also feel silly for questioning my sexuality. I feel like, that at this age, it shouldn't be a question anymore. That I should be comfortable and confident in who I am. I just, find it hard to be like that sometimes.
I was pulled out of my thoughts by warm arms wrapping around my waist.
"Baby..." Steve says, still half asleep. "What is wrong? This is the third night this week that I've found you up and awake like this." He sounded sad. But I suppose that is understandable. I don't like to tell him what is wrong, I think he feels, closed out, when I get like this, but I don't know how to open up too well.
I thought before I answered him.
"Sometimes, I wonder why you are dating me, a man. And so openly. You could have your pick of women, and life would be so much...easier." The words falling out of my mouth before I could even realize it.
When I finished, there was silence from behind me. Then I felt movement, and in a moment, Steve's chest was pressed against my back, his head on my shoulder, one arm wrapped under my pecs and the other sliding to my hand, our finger's intertwining.
I begin to tear up and close my eyes, trying to stem the river of tear threatening to fall.
"Baby..." he says into my ear again. "I am dating you because I love you, and yeah, it may make things a bit easier if I was dating a woman, but then what. I just have to be unhappy like I would have been back In the day. Hiding, lying, and missing your beautiful face. I don't—we don't have to hide. It's not the 1920's. Plus, we are role models for every other gay kid who think's they can't be a superhero. They have to know that they can be whatever they want. Oh darling. I would be lost without you."
I smile a smidge before I start to cry. Not loud, bawling, crying. But small tears, sliding down my cheek as my breath cones into my chest shakily.
I turn around and bury my head into Steve's neck.
"I don't know what to do! I can't help thinking that I'm not good enough for you. Not right for you. I can't even figure out my sexuality! I'm thirty-nine for God's sake." I cry into him.
He rubs circles in my back as I vent to him. (Y/n), love, you are more than good enough for me, you are absolutely perfect. And it's perfectly okay to not have your sexuality figured out. It took me the better part of 80 years to figure out I liked men and women. You are doing fine okay, take your time." He finished. I continued to cry, this time, morning from the movie style tears into ugly, snot and all, crying. After a few moments of that, I began to quiet down and become tired.
"Is that what has been bothering you for the past few nights?" He asked me gently. I nodded and he hugged me even closer. "Let's go have a bath." Steve said suddenly.
"But it's 2:53 a.m." I said looking at the analogue clock on the night stand.
"So what. You seem like you need a warm bath. How about I join you too?" He asked, already getting up to run us the bath.
"That sounds good." I said, feeling exhausted from thinking and crying so much.

Once the bath was ready, we both stripped down and climbed in. Steve was holding me close to him again, whispering sweet nothings into my ear to comfort me.
We sat in the bath for at least an hour. The water had gone from hot to Luke warm. We climbed out and dried off, then we got redressed and each got back into bed.
"Steve?" I questioned, as I snuggled into his his chest.
"Yes?" He said as he pulled the sheets and Duvet over us again.
"Are you really okay walking hand in hand with me in public?" I asked quietly.
He sighed, I couldn't tell weather out of sadness or just exhaustion.
"Baby boy, I love having the freedom to walk with you down the street. I love not having to worry about getting shot, or beat to death while other people watched. I love getting to see other queer couples walking down the street, smiling and enjoying the same freedom's we have. So, in short, yes, I am really okay with walking with you hand in hand, down the street."
I relaxed gratefully into him once again. This was a good lesson in being more venerable with Steve. We were dating for a reason after all. I trusted him and he trusted me.
"I love you Steve, so much." I whispered.
"I love you just as much." He responded.
He was petting my hair slowly, it helped to put me to sleep quiet fast.

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A/n: Day #16. Sorry that this is a bit late. And you can thank my friend for the Inspiration. Anyway, I hope you enjoy :)!