The Day After He Killed Himself

Chapter 16

 "That's why I am so happy to announce that our newest cheerleader is..... Riv!"

A bright smile inadvertently sped across my face. All of the cheerleaders gave me a warm smile, though the rest of the girls just rolled their eyes.

"Omg, this is awesome!" Scarlett squealed.

"Ya, good job!" Ella added though Angie didn't share their enthusiasm.

She gave me a forced smile and turned to leave the gym, along with the other girls. "See ya later, Riv." She looked at me like I'd done something wrong. Like I cheated it something though I didn't say anything and just let her leave.

Once everyone left, I walked up to Ava, who was grabbing a box from behind the bleachers. "Thanks for thinking I could do it," I told her, and she turned around, holding a box full of uniforms, jackets, hoodies, and pom-poms.

"Thanks for being exactly who we needed you to be." Ava chirped and handed me the large box. "This is everything you will need."

I looked down in the box, three different uniforms, two hoodies, five t-shirts, two pairs of sweatpants, two leggings, five bows, two different sets of pom-poms, and of course, the signature cheer jacket. "Wow, I could start my own squad with all this stuff." I laughed nervously as I picked up one of the skirts. It looked extremely small, and when I read the tap, it said 6. "I think you got my size wrong; I'm a size ten," I told Ava, as I tried to hide my shame of being that number.

"Oh, well, Angelica was a size six, and this is all her old stuff, so make it work." Ava told me as sweetly as she could.

"But, I can't fit into a size six!" I told her frantically.

"Look, the season has already started, so there is no time to order a new uniform. So make it work." She told me again; only this time, her tone was less pleasant. "Good luck." She told him, and then she and the rest of the cheerleaders walked out of the gym. When the doors closed, I was left alone in this vast, empty gym. I say on the bleachers and held up the size six jacket. It was black, with white and orange sleeves. The word Tigers went across the back in orange, and there were rhinestones on the collar and the sleeves. It was so pretty, and it was mine. Though no matter how hard I'd try, it would never fit me. It would fit Angie, heck maybe it would even be big on her. I knew she deserved the spot in the team, and perhaps this is God's way of showing me I should give her the place. Being a cheerleader didn't precisely fit me anyways.

"Hey."

I jumped from the sudden voice behind me and turned around to see Robert. "Oh, hey," I said in relief; it was only him.

"I see you made the squad." He said and sat next to me. "Good job!"

"Thanks," I muttered.

"What's wrong? Isn't this what you wanted?"

"I guess. It's what everyone wants, right?" I asked him, still not taking my eyes off the jacket.

"No, I don't think." He shrugged. "There are some girls in this school who would gag at the thought of cheering."

"Then why does it matter so much?" I asked desperately as I finally gazed into his dark eyes.

"I don't know; it doesn't, I guess." He shrugged.

"But it does!" I told him. "I just wish I didn't."

"Then, why do it?" He asked me.

"What do you mean?"

"Why are you holding a cheer jacket if you don't like cheer?"

"I don't know!" I hid my face in my hands and regretted this whole thing. I felt Rivers large, rough hands fold over mine, and he removed them from my face.

"You're too pretty to be covering that up." He told me sweetly, and I blushed from the compliment. "I think you're going to be a great cheerleader."

"Really?" I asked meekly.

"Yes. Now try the jacket on, I wanna see it." He laughed to try to lighten the mood, though it just made me more upset.

"It won't fit," I muttered.

"That's ridiculous." He laughed again.

"No, really, it's not my size." I held the jacket up against me to prove it was too small for me.

"Then lose some weight." He shrugged.

"What?" I gasped, not expecting that response.

"You could lose a few pounds and fit into it in no time." He said it in such a gentle tone; I tried to convince myself he was being nice. Though I also convinced myself, he was right. It was time I lost some weight, especially if I was going to be on the cheer team.

"Ya, you're right." I nodded.

"Go on then, try it on then." He playfully nudged me.

"Why? We both know it won't fit."

"It will be good motivation. Couch dies something similar to us for football." I nod and stand up. I slip the soft fabric over my arms and try to zip it. I give up in fear that I'll break the zipper. The sleeves are tight, and I'm afraid if I move my arms too much, the back will rip. Even though it's uncomfortable, I still liked the feeling of wearing a cheer jacket. "See, it does fit." Robert smiled and stood up, making his way over to me. He eyed me up and down and then wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me in closer.

"Not every good." I laughed.

"That's okay, a few pounds off here and there, and you'll be perfect." I didn't like how he said I would be perfect — indicating that I'm already not. Though when he bit his lip, my worries turned into butterflies. He slowly leaned down to me and landed a kiss on my forehead.

I glared at him for not giving me a real kiss, and he smiled playfully. He pulled me even closer to him, so close, I felt my breath push up against his stomach. He was so tall, he had to lean down quite a bit to kiss me, but when he did, a new rush came over me. For the first time, I kissed him without thinking of Gray, and it felt fantastic.

The mood was killed by my phone, buzzing on the bleacher. I went to get it and saw there was a new message from the cheer group chat that I was now apparently added to.

It said Ava was holding a get together at her house for team bonding. "Looks like I have to go," I told Robert as I picked up my box full of cheer attire.

"I gotta stay here; football practice is being held in the gym today." Robert told me with a dramatic sigh. "Text me later?" He smirked.

"Of course. See ya." With one last kiss, I walked out of the gym with an extra pep in my step.

As I walked towards the main doors, I heard footsteps from behind me. "Hey." There was that familiar voice. I panicked and turned around slowly. Instead of Robert, this time, I was met with Gray. He was a reasonable distance away, though, for some reason, I wanted him to be closer.

"Hey." I smile at him.

"I see you made the team." He smiled back, and I looked down at the tight jacket that I was still wearing.

I blushed, wishing that my fat wasn't trying to rip through the fabric. "Ya," I said quietly.

"It looks good on you." He smiled and then walked into the gym.

"Thanks," I muttered, even though I was standing in the empty commons. My heart fluttered, though The feeling was different than how it was with Robert, I just couldn't decide if it was better or worse.

Oh God, what did I get myself into...