The Day After He Killed Himself

Chapter 09

  I woke up and prayed to God last night was all a dream, or nightmare I should say. But I knew it wasn't, everything that happened was true. Gray Anderson came to my house and told me he liked me, I went to a party wearing nothing but a jersey, I danced, I laughed, I drank and Gray... Gray did something I couldn't ever forget.

 I rolled over and looked at my phone, countless Snapchat and Instagram follow request. "What the heck?" I went onto Instagram first and there were countless pictures of the party, and me and Gray were in almost all of them! I don't even remember taking photos, but honestly I don't remember a lot of details from last night. Besides the end of the night, I could remember every little detail.

 I didn't think people knew me, I thought calling myself Riv would throw them off but obviously that didn't work. Everyone knew I was there, my reputation as a good smart innocent girl was forever gone.

 I thought that's what I wanted. I thought I wanted to be seen. But no, that's not what I wanted at all. I just wanted to be invisible again.

 I threw my phone across the room and went back to sleep. I wasn't planning on getting out of bed until graduation.

 "River!" I woke up again to my mom pounding on my door. "There's someone here to see you." She told me as I rubbed my eyes and got out of bed. Before I left the room I glanced over at my alarm clock and it read '2:35' damn I slept for a long time.

 I went downstairs, still half asleep and not even thinking about who could be at the door. But it was him. It was Gray. He still looked sexyer than ever and I still had the urge to rub his lips against mine. But as soon as he spoke it all went away, and the feeling of fear rushed over me. "River, I'm so sorry about last night, I don't know what got into me and-"

 "Get. Out."

 I turned around to see Logan at the top of the stairs. He had fire in his eyes and I really thought he was going to kill Gray.

 "Logan, I'm just here to apologize." Gray practically begged.

 "You heard me. Get. Out. Now!" Logan ran down the stairs and stood in front of me. 

 It shocked me just how protective Logan was being, but I wasn't complaining. Gray was the last person I wanted to see so hopefully Logan would make him go away.

 "River." Gray ignored Logan and looked me in the eyes. They were different from last night. They didn't scare me, they were gentle, kind, and loving. But he still scared me, made me feel vulnerable. "River I'm so sorry, please just listen to me-"

 Before Gray could say anything else Logan pushed him got the door and slammed it shut.

 "Is everything okay?" My mom came rushing down the stairs.

 "Ya." I mumbled. "Everything's fine." I lied. It wasn't fine. I wasn't fine.

 I spent the whole day in my room, I locked the door and didn't even let Logan in. I turned my phone off and put it in a drawer. I watched Netflix all day long and only left my room for food.

 It wasn't the fact that people knew I was at a party, or that I drank a little. Ya maybe my reputation was damaged a bit, but that could be a good thing if I really think about it. Though the thing that really bothered me, was every time I closed my eyes, I saw him over me, trapping me. My heart beating out of my chest. And my breathing picked up. I felt trapped all over again

 "Ahhh!" I couldn't take it. I yelled and screamed and kicked but it wouldn't go away. "Get away from me!"  Maybe no one heard, or maybe they weren't home. But I was left in my room alone and afraid. Nothing I did would get the feeling out of my chest.