The Hardest Part Of Living

The Hardest Part Of Living- Chapter 12

"So, do you live near here?" Gerard asked, dishing out the food. I was sitting next to Alex at the dining table, anxious.

"Uh yeah" He smiled and took the food placing it down in front of him. "You have a nice house" He smiled more and began to admire the kitchen.

"Thanks" Gerard blushed a little as he sat down. I sighed and grabbed my plate, eating slowly.

"Do we have a nice daughter, though?" Frank smirked and my eyes shot to him, glaring. "Eh? Eh?" Frank poked Alex, eager to hear the answer.

"She's cool" He smirked looking at me, "She can stand up for herself. That's for sure" He chuckled and nibbled on the food, thankfully Frank was away when Gerard was cooking so none of the food was burnt. 

"What do you mean by that?" Gerard raised an eyebrow and I stared at Alex, trying to make him shut the hell up.

"Well, this popular girl decided that she was going to lay out the rules of the school. Vicky was having none of it and pushed her over, she landed straight on her butt" He smirked and both Frank and Gerard glared at me.

"It was self defence" I whispered and they shook their heads.

"How did you two meet then?" Gerard asked and I gulped loudly, making them both stare. I kind of skipped half of class when we met. They'd be annoyed at me if I told them that.

"Break time, she was on her own so I approached her and began talking. We could be twins. Same attitude"

"You're a bitch then?" Frank whispered, leaning on his elbows. I glared at him but he just smiled at me innocently.

"I can be when I want" Alex shrugged. I began to ram the food down my throat, trying to eat it as quick as possible to get away from this table. Alex, however, thought it would be funny to eat as slowly as possible just to annoy me. I could see him smirk from the corner of my eye, the little shit.

"As long as you two get on, all is good" Gerard smiled and I rolled my eyes. "I don't really want to see the bad side of you two" He pulled a face and Frank joined him, Alex shook his head and smiled. 

"Saying that, you should see the bad side to Gerard" Frank whispered. I've only seen Gerard happy and calm, sometimes playful and flirty. I couldn't picture him as an angry man. It just didn't suit him. 

"I bet I'm worse" I smirked and Frank shook his head, suddenly becoming serious. His expression was blank and he stared at me.

"Trust me, you don't wanna see Gerard pissed" He shivered.

"Um, that's enough Frank" Gerard nudged him, "I don't really want to scare Alex and Vicky off" He chuckled nervously and ate the last of his food. "I'll wash up" He began collecting empty plates and then strolled over to the sink, washing them slowly.

"I'd love to see Gerard pissed off" I smirked, "We could have a little competition" I chuckled but no one laughed.

"I'll take you home Alex" Frank whispered grabbing the car keys. "Vicky, go get your stuff ready for school" He ordered and I rolled my eyes. "Now"

"Bye Alex" I sighed walking up to my room. Stupid dinner, it had to turn all serious due to the fact that  Frank had to mention about Gerard in berserk mode. Thanks to that, Alex had to go home early.

I pushed open my door and walked over to my bed, falling on it. 

Could I even count Alex as my friend? I only met him today, but I guess we're kind of the same. It'd be nice to have someone to talk to and sit with. It's not nice being alone all your life.

I sat up wide eyed. What was I saying? I've been alone before, I could do it now. It wasn't that hard. I was changing, this whole adoption thing has changed me, these men have changed me. Apart of me was saying it was for the worst but I truly knew it was for the best. 

I didn't want myself to be happy. I wanted myself to be miserable. Did I blame the death of my family on myself? Yes. I should have been there with them, I didn't do nothing to prevent it. 

I wish everything would go back to how it was. I don't mean me being in care. I mean when my family was alive and when I was myself. I've changed so much and I hated it. I wish I joined my family, whether that was heaven hell or purgatory.