personal best || harry styles au

two

Don't look back, don't look back, don't look back.
Maddie's mind was going over the same three words over and over again as she hurried Edie into the kitchen, where Carmel was busy chopping vegetables and singing along to the radio. Carmel let out a loud gasp as she dropped the knife down onto the counter.
"Sweet Mary, mother of Joseph!" Carmel clutched her hand against her chest as she looked down at Edie then back up at Maddie, "You can't be scuttling around the place like that, girls."
"Mummy said no to dinner, Carmel."
"Did she?" Carmel raised an eyebrow in Maddie's direction, picking the knife back up and slicing through some carrots, "Does Mummy not think that dinner might be beneficial towards her understanding of a certain situation?"
"No, Mummy doesn't think at all." Maddie smiled through gritted teeth, "In fact, Mummy thinks that she wants to never be involved in that particular situation again."
Carmel didn't respond, instead she just shook her head and carried on tending to the ingredients in front of her.
Maddie said her goodbyes as she led Edie out of the house - careful to avoid any unwanted interactions with Harry - and down the cobbled path. Her heart was all over the place as they hurried down the road, Edie was singing a nursery rhyme she'd learnt at school as Maddie was trying her best to keep everything together.
"I think I liked Harry." Edie had picked up a leaf from off the floor, "He had really nice brown boots, Mummy. Did you see them? I think I would like a pair just like that, they would be my most favourite boots."
"I didn't see them, no. Sorry, lovely."
"Did you like Harry?"
"Um, I thought he was-"
"-I think he likes you, Mummy. He kept looking at you! Carmel said that he does like you. She also said that she knows people and their hearts - but I didn't know she was a doctor."
"No, she- she's not." Maddie looked down at Edie's curious face, "Hearts can sometimes mean love-"
"-so, she's a love doctor?"
"Definitely not a qualified one."
***
The welcoming smell of a roast dinner permeated throughout the house as Maddie walked through her parent's front door; Edie let out an excited giggle as she took off her shoes and placed them onto the shoe rack. Roast dinners were her favourite.
"Is that a little monster I've just heard come through the door?"
"Save me, Mummy!" Edie squealed and hid behind Maddie's legs, "The evil minotaur's going to get me! Just like he got Theseus!"
"What?" Maddie couldn't help but laugh as her dad, David, poked his head out from the doorway, "Have you been teaching your granddaughter Greek mythology?"
"We're slowly making our way through 'Greek Mythology for Kids' every night before bedtime." David wiggled his fingers either side of his head, "Tonight's story is all about Medusa - the Gorgon with real snakes for hair!" He charged his wriggling fingers at Edie which made her squeal with delight and run upstairs, he chased after her making hissing noises.
"Be careful, please!" Maddie called after them. She took off her shoes and walked into the kitchen, pulling open the fridge and breaking off a square of chocolate.
"Hi, sweetheart. How was your day?" Maddie's mum, Hannah, turned around from the stove, tutting at Maddie's choice for a pre-dinner snack, "Dinner's almost ready, sweetheart."
"Trust me, after the day I've had, it's well deserved."
"Is everything alright?"
That was all it took for the floodgates to open.
"Oh my- David! David! Get down here, now." Hannah shouted at the doorway before pulling Maddie into a comforting hug, "What's happened, my darling? Is everything okay?"
"He- he's- I was in the shop-"
"-what's going on in here?" David plonked Edie on top of the counter, "You alright, sweetheart?"
"Well, obviously, David, our daughter is not alright." Hannah shot a glare in her husband's direction.
"What's wrong, Mummy?"
"I'm fine, Edes." Maddie forced a smile onto her face, "Why don't you go pop a film on in the lounge? Uncle Ru should be in there, he'd love to see you." Maddie lifted Edie off the counter, pressed a quick kiss against her forehead and watched her brunette curls bounce as she toddled into the lounge.
"So, what's happened?"
"Edie-" Maddie blew out a shaky breath, "-Edie's dad came into the shop today."
"What?"
"He came back."
"After five years? Five years?" Hannah placed her hands on her hips, "He's got a bloody cheek. Well, I hope you didn't give him-"
"-Mum-"
"-that boy doesn't deserve a second of your time-"
"-Mum-"
"-let her speak, Han-"
"-she doesn't owe him anything, David-"
"-it's Harry Styles."
Maddie watched as her mum and dad exchanged puzzled glances.
"What's 'Harry Styles', love? The musician in the paper? The one Ru plays for?"
"No." Maddie looked down at the table to see a front-cover spread of Harry, wearing an outrageously sparkly outfit, prancing around on stage. Perfect timing, Maddie thought. Her mouth felt as dry as the Sahara as she continued, "Well- yes- but, no- he's- he's Edie's dad."
"I beg your pardon?"
"Harry Styles is Edie's dad."
There was complete silence in the room for what felt like hours as Maddie's gaze flicked between her parents' - looking for any clues as to how they were feeling. Her dad was the first to break the silence.
"Look, I think we should put this to one side for now." Both women watched him as he continued, "We'll have dinner, put Edie to bed and then we can all sit down and talk about this, okay?"
"Ru!" Hannah called out, "Ru, get in here, please."
Ru hurried in, wrapped up in a blanket. He looked over at Maddie, then to his dad and, finally, to his mum. Instantly, he knew. He knew the exact topic he was about to be quizzed on.
"Is Harry still around?"
"Yes."
"Where is he staying?"
"I don't-"
"Ru, where is he staying?" Hannah was more forceful this time.
Ru turned to look at Maddie, who was silently pleading with her eyes not to say anything. He looked back at his mum, letting out a sigh before spilling out the whereabouts of one Harry Styles. "He's at Carmel's."
"Well," Hannah turned back to the stove and continued stirring the bubbling gravy, "I want him to come over. For dinner."
Maddie scoffed, "Absolutely not."
"Hannah-"
"-David, I want him to come over for dinner." She didn't turn around but Maddie and Ru knew their mum was now addressing the two of them, "If you don't invite him, I'll phone up Carmel and invite him myself."
***
The time waiting for Harry to arrive seemed to drag on for hours.
Edie was super excited that Harry was coming over for dinner; Maddie had told her that Harry was coming over because he'd heard her Nanny's roast dinners were the best in the country. Edie was busy pouring over a whole tube of glitter onto her card, thanking Harry for coming over, when the doorbell rang.
"I've not finished!" Edie called out, "Tell him to please wait!"
Before Maddie had the chance to get up, she heard the front door open which was swiftly followed by the sound of her dad's voice greeting the person she'd spent the last five years trying to forget. She stepped out into the hallway, noticing that Harry had changed t-shirts and re-styled his hair. She also noticed the slight upturn the corners of his mouth made as their eyes met.
"How was the taxi ride over?" David shut the door behind Harry, "I'm surprised Carmel didn't try to hop in the car with you, that woman loves a gathering."
"She did, actually." Harry cleared his throat, "I had to sneak out the back door so she didn't see me leave."
"Finished!" Edie called out from the living room before bundling out into the hallway and thrusting a glitter-coated and felt-tipped smudged card into Harry's hand, "I made this for you! It's to say thanks for coming over and eating Nanny's roast. Look, I drew you eating some carrots just here."
Maddie watched as Harry feigned surprise with wide-eyes and loud gasps as Edie carried on talking him through her very thorough card; he'd bent down to be more at her level so she could point out the really tiny bits of detail she'd added. Maddie thought his eyes looked a little glazed-over but she couldn't tell if it was the light or not.
"He seems nice." David's voice was only a whisper as he walked past Maddie, "I like him."
"Edie, can you go and wash your hands for dinner, please?"
"Okay, Mummy." Edie looked back at Harry, "Please can I sit next to you, Harry?"
"I would love that." Harry turned to Maddie as Edie started skipping away, his voice now a husky whisper, "Is that okay?"
Maddie's head fell into a gentle nod; she could tell he was trying, really trying.
***
Maddie was still trying to adjust to the fact that, after five years of nothing, Harry Styles was now sitting at her parent's dining table, eating dinner with the daughter he didn't know he had - until a few hours ago - and talking to her about her upcoming birthday.
"What have you asked for then? For ya birthday."
"Well, Mummy said I can choose one present from the Argos catalogue and the rest is a surprise."
"The Argos catalogue?" Harry let out a gasp as a pile of peas dropped from his fork onto the plate, "That is very generous of your mum, isn't it? Have you thought about what you want already?"
"I'm not sure." Edie moved her fork around the plate, "I love books. Grandad says I get that from Mummy because she loves books too. I think I would also like piano lessons because I want to play the piano but Grandad says Mummy isn't musical so I must have got that from Nanny, or my dad."
The room fell silent and Harry pulled his eyebrows together.
"Hey, well, your Uncle Ru's musical as well, isn't he?" Ru forced out a laugh to fill the awkward silence, "So, I can always help with the piano lessons? Y'know, if Nanny's busy?"
"Thanks, Uncle Ru."
Mum shot up out of her seat, "Everybody finished?" The ventriloquist-like smile Hannah had spread across her mouth unsettled everyone at the table.
"Yes, thank you. It was lovely." Harry cleared his throat, "Maddie, can I talk to you?" His eyes were fixed on Maddie's as he motioned his head towards the hallway, "Just quickly."
Maddie got out of her seat and excused herself from the table, Harry mimicked her actions. She shut the door behind them to make sure no lingering ears were listening in. Harry didn't say anything for a moment, just stared down at his worn boots whilst he picked at a callous on his finger.
"I want- I want to be involved." Harry looked up, "With Edie. I want to be involved. I've missed so much of her life already, Maddie, and she- she's so great. I don't want to miss anymore. I've spent the whole afternoon thinking about it." He paused, waiting for Maddie to respond but she didn't. "We- we can talk more about the details later but I- I want to be involved." He slipped an envelope out of his back pocket and handed it to Maddie, "This is yours, okay? I- I don't know if it's right, I did a calculator online and rounded it up."
Maddie didn't understand what he was talking about until she opened up the envelope and took out the bit of paper that was inside. Her heart dropped when she was the amount of money he'd written on the paper marked 'IOU'.
"I can't take this, Harry."
"You can, Maddie, and you will. I'll transfer it over once I've found out your details."
"No- no, I can't. This isn't- this isn't why I told you, Harry. I didn't expect-"
"-I know you didn't, Maddie. I want to."
***
After dinner, everybody piled into the living room to sit down and watch a film - tonight it was Edie's choice and she'd chosen Hercules to tie in with the Greek mythology theme she'd been learning about at bedtime recently. Maddie excused herself just before Megara's big solo, instead choosing to sit in the kitchen and look at anything that wasn't Harry and Edie's budding relationship. Maddie was trying to think of how to tell Edie. How could she tell her that the person who made her laugh so hard at the table, she snorted juice out of her nose, was her dad? Maybe Edie knew; she was usually a bit more on the shy side at first but, with Harry, she was the total opposite.
"Hi, sweetheart." Hannah crept into the kitchen, "How are you feeling?"
"Overwhelmed."
"Oh, darling." She flicked the kettle on and slid into the seat opposite Maddie, "I can't even begin to imagine how you're feeling, it's such a unique situation. You've also got to think about how he's feeling as well, my love. He's not known about little Edie for all this time, he's probably so scared."
"He wants to be involved."
"Do you want him to?"
"Do you think it's too fast?"
"What do you mean, sweetheart?"
"Like, Harry's only just found out that he has a daughter." The word sounded so foreign coming out of Maddie's mouth. "I don't want him to feel that he has to be involved because he doesn't. He really doesn't. He can walk away from all of this and just carry on living his life." Maddie rubbed her eyes, "And, like, he gave me money for Edie. A lot of money."
"Well, that's good of him. He's under no obligation to, mind."
"I know." The kettle flicked off and Hannah got up, Maddie watched as she poured out a cup of tea, "I just don't want him to think that's what I want- that that's why I told him."
"Sweetheart, he knows that's not why you told him. We all know that."
"Uh- sorry to interrupt-" Harry stood sheepishly in the doorway, "-Edie fell asleep so your dad took her upstairs and Ru's passed out on the sofa. So, I think- think that's probably me cue that I should go too, 's getting late."
"Okay, my love." Hannah put down her cup, "Thank you for coming over, it was very nice to me-"
"-wait. I- I want to show Harry something." Maddie turned to Harry, "Follow me."
They walked upstairs, slowly tip-toeing past Edie's room where they could hear David reading her the story of Medusa and Perseus. When they reached Maddie's bedroom, her hand hovered by the handle for a few moments before they stepped inside. Maddie instructed Harry to sit down on the bed whilst she searched for something on the bookshelf.
"Here." Maddie placed a book into his lap, "I can't make up for the time you lost with her but I hope this helps."
Harry traced his fingers lightly over the front cover.
Edith Rose Croft
Born on 5th December 2014 at 04:13am
"It's her baby book. It documents, pretty much, everything from when she was born up to her first birthday. After that, I've got a separate book for each year - may as well call it 'The Edie Quintet'."
Harry turned each page with such care, his eyes scanned over every corner to make sure he missed no detail. Maddie was sure if she quizzed him on any section of the book, he'd get full marks.
"She was so small."
"She didn't stay small for very long, I can assure you of that."
"'m so sorry I missed it, Maddie."
"Stop, Harry, it's fine."
"It's not though. You- you had to do this. All of this," he gestured to the book, "by yourself."
"I wasn't totally- my family-"
"-I know your family helped, 'm so grateful that they did. But- y'know what I mean, Mad- Maddie, sorry."
Maddie leant slightly forward on her toes, her mouth suddenly yearned to feel Harry's again. She was sure he felt it too, his eyes had flicked to meet hers and his tongue swiped across his plump bottom lip. Their lips touched and, suddenly, they both felt a feeling neither of them had felt in half a decade. Harry's hands smoothed against Maddie's jaw until she felt his touch at the nape of her neck - pulling her closer into him. Their lips worked in sync with one another and, as they lowered to the bed, Maddie's hands wandered down to the crotch of his trousers. Harry shuddered as Maddie started to rub him through the material.
Knock, knock.
Maddie jumped off of Harry, wiping at her lips to hide any sign of what had just happened whilst Harry sat bolt upright sporting cheeks as red as his lipstick-stained lips.
"Mummy," Edie toddled in, rubbing her half-open eyes, "I can't sleep."
"Come here, lovely." Maddie held out her arms and Edie clung onto her like a koala, "Mummy'll stay with you for a bit, okay? Say goodnight to Harry, sweetheart."
"Nun-night, Harry."
"Sweet dreams, Edie."
***
Maddie twirled a small curl at the back of Edie's head as she drifted back off into a peaceful slumber. Maddie's mind was still racing about what had happened in the bedroom; she couldn't stop thinking about it. Maddie never thought she'd see Harry again, let alone kiss him - in her bedroom. Harry had asked to see Edie again tomorrow, Maddie had obliged because it felt like the right thing to do and she knew Edie would love to see him again. She was thinking about the different ways she could tell Edie that Harry was her dad as her thumbs tapped Harry Styles into Google and she scrolled aimlessly through the results.
EXCLUSIVE: Tammy DeLahaute spills the beans on how 'boyfriend', musical superstar, Harry Styles, asked her to be 'official'.
She felt her stomach drop. She was now back to thinking about the kiss but for all the wrong reasons. Harry had a girlfriend. Did she know about Maddie? Did she know about Edie? Maddie quickly added the word child onto her Google search but, thankfully, nothing relevant stood out. She wasn't ready for the world to know about the biggest part of her she'd kept safe for the first five years.